


Stars Shine Bright Above Me

by bashfulisak



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst, Childhood Friends, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, Slow Burn, Touch-Starved, Unacceptance, Will update tags as story progresses, skam au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-07 11:13:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11057766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bashfulisak/pseuds/bashfulisak
Summary: For once in his life, Isak Valtersen knew what it was like to have a best friend. Many, actually. But Even was special to him in a way he didn't quite understand. So many mixed feelings and emotions at once, but Isak being the young boy he was ignored them. When Even has to move a few days before they start middle school together, Isak is crushed and has not the slightest clue how he's going to make it without him by his side. All alone, by himself, the only thing reminding him that Even is out there somewhere is the stars that shine bright above his head and he knows deep down Even is staring at the same sky, but day and night don't matter.





	1. Ch. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Look at that, another chapter fic. The first chapter fic I wrote went so well with all the positive feedback, so here I am with a childhood AU. I’ve had this idea in my head since the last chapter fic, and I’m excited for it and I hope you all are too. Enjoy! Thank you for reading!

"Marshmallow?" Even asks, gesturing to the bag on the small table beside them. He takes his roasted one and slides it off the stick, sticking it between two crackers and sweet milk chocolate.

"Sure, yeah. Thanks," Isak responds, digging his hand into the bag and pulling out the white puff treat, sticking it on his own stick and setting it just above the flame of the campfire. He shivers in the cold, zipping up his jacket with his free hand as the outside of the marshmallow begins to catch the flame.

Even glances over at their parents sitting around a small table littered with beer and sighs, eating the sweet treat in his hands, "I wish they would pay attention to us sometimes."

Isak glances at Even, raising an eyebrow as he pulls the marshmallow away from the fire and blows on it, setting it between his own crackers and chocolate, "Why? I couldn't give a shit about my dad - he left my mom, for crying out loud."

Even huffs, a small cloud of white producing from the action, and he wipes his hands on his jeans, "I'm sure he had his reasons," Isak ignores him for a while, so Even breaks the silence again. "Are you ready for school to start?"

"In a way, yeah. Keeps me away from home more often," Isak shrugs, finishing his s'more.

"You know you're always welcome to talk to me about your problems, you know that right? No matter what?" Even offers, looking over at the younger boy beside him who's sitting cross-legged on the ground, but Isak doesn't look back at him. All he gets as a response is a shrug, and with that the conversation is over. They get up in silence, heading towards the tent they share, and climb in. Isak turns on the small lamp in the middle of the small space and sits on top of his sleeping bag, just staring into the bright light.

Even bites the inside of his cheek, glancing over at Isak every now and then, and then finally he lets out a breath, "Life will get easier, you know."

Isak picks up his head, looking over at his best friend, "I sure hope so."

"We've been friends since primary school, Isak. I know you. You'll have a good life," Even offers a small smile, but Isak doesn't return it. Instead, he lies down, tucking himself into the sleeping bag and rolling on his side facing away from Even. Even shakes his head as he reaches over, dimming the light, the shadows of the trees and the moon sheltering them.

-

Isak stirs in his sleeping bag a bit, and he eventually finds himself facing Even, the dim light from the lantern blossoming in the small tent. He groans quietly to himself as he remembers that he forgot his sleeping pills at home, and so he just lies there. What he finds weird the most is that he finds himself not wanting to look away from Even. He wants to take in every bit of him - how his mouth is agape while he sleeps, how sometimes his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks, and how his hair just falls perfectly across his face. He shakes his head, sucking in a deep breath as he lies on his back, staring up at the ceiling of the tent.

His mind averts to the first time he saw Even. First day of primary school. He was sitting by himself in the corner where all the junk toys sat, but he played with a small ball that he must've brought from home. Isak had found his way to the corner, but he can't exactly remember why he walked up to Even, but he's still glad he did. They exchanged names quietly, and from then on they sat in that very corner every day during play time. Strange connection, really, but to Isak it's his favorite story to tell himself. 

He is eventually able to drift off, but what seems to be only a few minutes of rest comes a loud boom from outside the tent. Thunder. Isak jumps to his senses, sitting up in his sleeping bag and sees Even is now wide awake. Isak lets out a shaky breath and his nerves feel wired and he knows what's happening - his anxiety is kicking in. His breath begins to start racing, his hands shaking uncontrollably, and he feels his heart pounding in his chest. He can't focus on anything, but he can feel Even and his warmth get closer, and he can hear Even's quiet voice.

"Isak, it's okay, just try and breath. In and out, remember?"

Isak tries to concentrate on what Even is telling him, but it's hard, and he can feel Even take his hands into his own. This is how these scenarios always play out. The time at Even's when Isak's parents first split, his anxiety was unbearable, and he always felt guilty for acting up but Even was always there to comfort him.

"Isak, focus on me and what I'm doing," and he can feel the tracing of circles on the back of his hand and everything becomes a bit clearer, his breath slowing bit by bit. He can feel his hands become still, and finally he lets out a huge breath and it's steady. He looks over at Even and finds that he's already glancing, their hands still together on Isak's leg. 

"Thank you," Isak manages, his eyes drooping a bit.

"Same old, same old. The usual," Even smiles softly. "That's what I'm here for. Always."

Isak nods as he tentatively pulls his hands away from Even's. As Even heads back over to his sleeping bag, Isak's words catch in his throat a bit but he manages them out anyway, "Can you stay? Over here, I mean," and Isak can feel the heat growing in his cheeks. Even smiles and heads over without a second thought and allows Isak to bury himself back into his sleeping bag. Isak scoots over and manages to make extra room for Even, and eventually Even is tucked into the sleeping bag right beside Isak, feeling Isak's side increase and decrease with every inhale and exhale. He finds himself drawing small circles on Isak's back, and when Isak notices his breath hitches. 

"Sorry, is this okay?" Even asks nervously, quickly jerking his hand away from Isak's body.

Isak sighs, "Yeah, sorry. It's okay. This is just weird for me, that's all," and Isak can feel Even chuckle.

"We've done this plenty of times before during our sleepovers, Isak."

Isak blushes again, shrugging, "I know, it's just that I don't want my dad-"

"Isak, it's fine. Just sleep," and with that, Even is back to tracing shapes and words on Isak's back as he drifts into a deep sleep, the light sound of rain pattering on the outside of the tent.

-

When Isak awakes, he finds himself alone in the tent. He frowns a little as he sits up, running his fingers through his hair to comb it down a bit. He pulls on a sweatshirt and heads out of the tent where he finds Even and his parents sitting at the picnic table, and his dad is cooking breakfast on the grill. He raises an eyebrow as he makes his way over to everyone and Even spots him first and instantly he's grinning and moving so Isak can sit next to him. He smiles at Even, mouthing a 'thank you' when all of a sudden the table becomes quiet. He looks up and he notices Even's parents staring at him and instantly he feels as though everyone knows about last night.

"Isak, dear," Even's mom starts. "Isn't that Even's sweatshirt?"

Isak glances down and his cheeks burn as he nods, "Uh, yeah, sorry. I wasn't looking when I grabbed."

They smile weirdly, nodding, but don't continue on with the conversation. Isak clears his throat awkwardly as his dad sets out the food across from them, "What a storm last night, wasn't it?" His dad says, breaking the silence.

Everyone at the table nods, commenting on some of the debris people found down by the lake this morning and Isak and Even just sit in silence, eating. When they finish within seconds of each other, Even speaks first, "When are we all planning on heading home?"

"Just in a couple of hours," his dad answers, taking a bite of bacon and Even nods. 

"Well, Isak and I are gonna go and take a hike. We'll keep track of time, I promise," Even smiles. His parents nod and so does Isak's dad, but wearily. They head off, pulling on their shoes as they past the tent, and as they are out of sight, Even pulls Isak to side as they stop along the trail. "I have to tell you something."

Isak tilts his head to the side a little, a bit confused, "Tell me what?"

"I'm moving," Even admits, looking down at his shoes.

"Moving? Moving where?" Isak rushes.

"The states. It's some stupid college my dad got a job at - he's the leading superintendent or something," Even grumbles, crossing his arms.

"When do you leave?"

"Today."

"Today?! What? You just decided to fucking tell me now just before we're starting middle school together?"

Even's heart clenches at the word 'together', but he ignores it and continues on, "I can try and email you every day, but it might not work out all the time."

Isak lets out a pained sigh, shaking his head, "I can't believe this, really. I can't."

"You can make it through middle school without me, you have Jonas and all them."

"But," Isak hesitates, and he feels a weird feeling in his stomach as he says the words. "I'm going to miss you."

"Look, just remember this. When you look up at the sky at night, or any time of the day, and see the moon or the sun, I will be seeing the same view, so really it won't seem that I'm so far away," Even smiles weakly.

Isak is surprised when he feels the burning of tears behind his eyes, but he blinks them away and looks up at Even, catching his eyes with his own and he feels something blossom in his stomach - something unfamiliar to him. He ignores it and after a while, they head back down the trail, walking side by side, towards the lake. They walk in silence for a few minutes, and they finally reach the edge of the boat dock, the feeling of the water rocking it just a little. Even grins, taking off his shoes and socks, and sits at the very edge, dipping his feet into the chilly water - but it's a bearable kind of cold. Isak does the same, and soon they're just sitting there side by side, their feet in the water, enjoyed the last few hours they have together. 

Isak's heart almost stops as he feels Even grasp his hand, but he doesn't pull away. He waits and he can feel him lacing their fingers together, and Isak allows it. It makes him feel more at ease, but it doesn't dull the pain he feels knowing his best friend for years is going to be leaving him. 

Isak doesn't know what his feeling - or for that matter, what he's thinking. He just wishes he would know what Even is thinking. About their hands. About how close they are. About what's going to happen to either of them.

After what seems an hour, they break away their hands and pull back on their socks and shoes and head back towards the campsite. Even's parents already have all of their things put away and so does Isak's dad. They glance at each other one more time before they climb into their separate cars and they head for the exit of the campsite. Isak ignores his dad for the whole trip back to the house, and just as he pushes his way into the house, his dad pipes up again.

"We'll be going to the airport to see them off in about in hour, so don't go take a nap or something," his dad chuckles softly, his keys jingling as he throws them on the table.

Isak responds with a shrug as he heads into his room, and as soon as he opens that door he's on his bed. He just lies there - he missed the feeling of his bed, but it seems strange to know Even might never sit here again and play video games with him. As promised, him and his dad head out to the airport and find Even and his parents sitting together on a bench, their bags being processed. Even stands after his parents do, and Isak smiles a bit. Even nods his head over by the window looking out to the tarmac and they walk over together. 

"Figured you couldn't handle not having me say goodbye," Isak jokes sadly, his arms crossed in front of his chest

Even scoffs, "Please, you'd be in tears."

Silence.

"Hey, I uh-" Isak starts, rubbing his nose. "Just know that I'll most likely be waiting for you here if you ever get homesick."

Even beams, nodding, "I know."

"One more hug?" Isak asks, shrugging.

"One more," Even replies, and Isak has his arms around Even's waist, his eyes pinching shut, and he doesn't want to let go. Above them, the lady announces their flight will be taking off shortly, so Even and Isak pulls away. Even turns, leaving Isak standing by himself by the window, and Isak can't find the feeling in his legs to move. Even picks up his bags, and he turns one last time, waving a goodbye, and Isak swears he sees tears in his eyes as he waves back and he feels as though he might collapse because this is actually happening.

He sees Even disappear from view, and suddenly a big wave of numbness and sadness washes over him. His dad approaches him, a sad smile on his face as he drapes his arm over Isak's shoulders as they walk out the doors of the airport and back to the parking lot.

-

As soon as Isak arrives home again, he heads straight for his room, shutting the door behind him and he just leans against it for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts. That's when the tears finally fall and reality strikes him like a slap to his face - and the most painful thing of all that he notices is that he's still wearing Even's sweatshirt. His sobs break his body as he falls onto his bed, and that's all he does as he falls asleep is cry. Crying over how little time they had together before he left. Crying over how much he'll miss him. Crying over how he might never see him again.

His dad finds him like that, his face covered in tears as he opens his bedroom door to call him to dinner. He doesn't have the heart to wake him, so that's just how he stays until morning, the sweatshirt of Even's clinging in Isak's fist. Deep down, Isak doesn't want to wake up the morning to this. He wants to wake up in the morning to just all of this being a dream. A nightmare. He knows it's too good to be true, and he has to live with the fact that he's alone from now on.

Isak wakes late at night, his clock reading 2 in the morning, and he groans. As he sits up, he hears something like paper crumple in Even's sweatshirt he's still holding. He digs through the pockets and pulls out a folded piece of paper. He opens it and inside it holds a drawing of him and Even on one side, and writing on the other. The drawing is of him with Even in the tent just the night before and his heart aches. He skims over the writing and reads;

_Isak, don't be sad that I'm leaving. Hopefully my dad will fuck up somehow and we'll come back, but for now keep this as a memory. Don't lose it, don't forget about it. And please don't forget about me, because I certainly won't forget about you. Just be sure to get good grades for once. Even. ___

__Isak smiles a little, folding the paper carefully and placing it inside one of his bottom dressers. With the drawing branded into his mind, he finds his way to fall back asleep._ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so much positive feed back on the very first update of this fic and honestly that means so much to me, thank you all so much. A little early with this update, only because y’all seem to like it so much and because I’m a nice person. Enjoy! <3

A few days have passed and when Isak's alarm goes off in the morning, he groans into his pillow. First day of lower secondary school. Great. He sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes as he slides out of bed. His dad isn't awake yet, which is a good thing. For now, anyways. Isak rushes through his routine - combing down his hair, brushing his teeth, and dressing. As he opens the closet door, his breath stops for a minute as he sees Even's hoodie still hanging up next to his own. He takes a deep breath and reaches past it to grab a shirt, slipping it on. He's about to close the door when he stops, thinking for a moment. His idea gets the best of him and soon he's pulling over Even's hoodie and he finds his scent still lingering on the fabric causing his stomach to burst with a feeling that's unfamiliar. He brushes it off as him being hungry as he slips on his shoes, grabbing his small bag from his chair and heads out into the kitchen.

He grabs a pop-tart from the pantry, scarfing it down as he waits for his dad to wake in order to take him to school, and as promised, ten minutes before they have to go, his dad saunters into the room, dressed and ready to go. Isak takes this time to slip on his winter coat, pulling on his beanie and gloves, and by the time he's done, he and his dad are heading towards the car and climbing inside. Shame that any tram that goes through here is either too early or too late for Isak to use, so of course the ride is silent.

Isak exits his dad's car, slamming the door short and sauntering towards the school yard. He sees the boys wave over at him and he walks over quickly, avoiding as many people as he can. He manages a small smile once he reaches the small group, and for once the hole in his chest feels halfway complete. He lets out a sigh as Jonas raises an eyebrow, looking around the school yard.

"Where's Even?" 

Isak almost staggers back hearing the familiar name but he holds firm, shrugging, "He moved."

"Moved? Where? When?" Jonas questions, crossing his arms.

"He moved to America because of his dad's stupid job. You remember that camping trip I told you about?" Jonas nods. "He left the last day of the trip."

Jonas' eyes fill with sadness and he lets out a huff, "Just like that?"

Isak clears his throat as it suddenly feels tight, "Yeah."

"That sucks, man," Magnus butts in, pulling off his gloves and stuffing them into his coat pocket.

"I'm sure he'll visit," Mahdi offers, but his voice is laced with sadness and all Isak can do is hope that he's right. 

As the bell trills in their ears, they groan as they begin their trek inside. Before Isak reaches the doors, he looks up at the slightly grey sky and remembers what Even told him; he's really not that far away. He lets out a breath into the chilly air and finally walks inside, but to what? Isak doesn't really know. He just hopes he can manage through his middle school years without getting into some dumb shit, because he wouldn't be able to do that alone. He would need Even beside him, but now he doesn't have that luxury.

-

When school lets out, Isak can finally breath. The cold air pierces his lungs but he ignores it, feeling the freedom on his wired skin. First day of going back to school without Even wasn't so bad, but that doesn't mean Isak went a minute without thinking of him. Jonas taps Isak on his shoulder and Isak jumps, looking over and raising an eyebrow.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over and play a game or something," Jonas says, shoving his hands into his coat pockets.

Isak responds with a shake of his head, "Sorry, but I gotta get home. My dad is already waiting over there."

Jonas frowns, but he accepts it because this is the same routine whenever he asks, "Okay, have fun," Jonas offers and Isak rolls his eyes, heading off towards the car.

"How was the first day?" His dad asks as soon as he sits in the back, putting on his seat belt.

"It was fine, yeah," Isak responds, looking out the window towards the still-full school yard.

His dad grumbles a response, but he doesn't catch it. He just watches the scenery zoom by as he heads home, the humming of the engine almost soothing enough for Isak to fall asleep right there in the backseat, but he isn't that type of kid. After what he's been through, he's grown up too quickly for only being in middle school.

-

As he and his dad enter the house, he switches on the lights and is about to head for his room when his dad calls him back, "Hey, uh, Isak," he starts, sitting down at the kitchen table. "Your mother called, wanted to know how you were doing."

Isak nods, "Okay?"

"You should call her back. I didn't really say anything because really, I don't know how you're doing. So I think you should be the one to tell her," he says, shrugging.

"Dad I don't think that's a good idea-"

"Isak, please. I can't keep making up excuses for you when you don't call her. Just call her, five minutes of you and her talking is all I'm asking."

Isak throws up his hands, "Fine, God, whatever!" 

As he picks up the phone, his dad speaks again, but this time a little quiet, "Just be careful what you say, you know how easily she gets stressed."

Isak mumbles a 'whatever' under his breath as he takes the phone and stomps to his room, slamming the door loud behind him. He quickly dials the number and it rings a few times before he hears the familiar crackling of someone picking up on the other end.

"Halla?" His mom starts and Isak's heart almost shatters. He hasn't heard her voice in so long, and it's almost comforting and he's about to lay all his emotions bare for her but he doesn't. 

"Hi, mamma. It's Isak," he says, sitting down on his bed, his school bag set next to his feet on the ground.

"Ah, Isak, my boy! How was your first day of middle school?"

Isak smiles a bit to himself, "It was alright."

"I heard about Even," she pauses and Isak hears loud crackling and he realizes she's sighing into the phone. "I know he was your best friend and that now going through middle school without him is going to be hard, but you'll see him again. God will make it destiny."

Isak rolls his eyes at his mothers words, but nods, "Yeah, I hope so."

Isak sighs, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he and his mother stay in silence for a while. Soon, she speaks up again, "You'll be okay, right? I know that times are tough for you, for all of us, but are you okay? Will you be okay?"

"I'll be okay," he lies. "Look, I got stuff to do. I'll try and call you later, okay?" Another lie.

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you, too."

And with that, Isak hangs up the phone, walking out of his bedroom to set it on the table. He stays there for a minute, watching his dad as he rummages through the cupboards for something for dinner. He turns, heading back into his room and he slips off Even's hoodie, feeling the soft cloth between his fingers. He feels like screaming, but he also feels like never talking. The reason why isn't quite clear to him. He slips it back onto the hanger, softly placing it back into his closet. He sighs, rubbing his eyes with his hands, letting out a yawn. His nose is filled with the smell of spaghetti sauce as he walks into the kitchen once more, leaning against the opening that leads into the kitchen.

"Have you checked the mail?" His dad asks, hovering over a pot of noodles.

"No, I'll go do it right now," Isak responds, slipping on a jacket and goes outside, walking down to the mailbox. He opens it and pulls out several letters, shifting through them. Bills, advertisements- wait. Isak's fingers stops as he holds a letter addressed to him in his hand. He runs back towards the house, throwing everything except his letter on the table and he shuts himself in his room, the perfect white envelope in his hands. He sits at his bed, carefully tearing open the letter and pulls out a small piece of paper. He throws the envelope askew, unfolding the paper and instantly he recognizes the handwriting. Even. 

He smiles as he notices the format - its just as similar to the drawing and letter he had found after he left Even at the airport. He locks his eyes on the drawing - him and Even, swinging on a swing set at a nearby park the day summer break began. Isak runs his finger tips over the swift lines from the pencil and moves onto the note;

_Isak, it's been a while. I hope your first day wasn't that bad, if this letter got to you on time. I'm sure you didn't get in that much trouble. My school here is okay, and I've already met a few kids. And a girl! Can you believe it? She seems cool - her name is Sonja. Write to me if you can, Isak. My dad says that if his job goes well this first year, we'll come visit during a holiday but he's not sure yet. I looked at the sky today, thinking about you. Weird, I think about you a lot. Anyway, I'll just go now. See you. Even. ___

__Isak keeps the letter held in his hands, and he blinks a few times when a wet droplet falls onto the paper and it makes him realize he's been crying. Isak knew he missed Even, but he didn't know he missed him to the point of tears. If only Even knew he missed him, too. He folds up the small paper, putting it into the same drawer with the other and takes a notebook from his bag, tearing it out and grabbing a marker from his pencil case and he begins to scribble a small letter to Even._ _

___Even, hi. Quite a while since I've seen you, but I'm doing okay. I haven't met any girls yet but it's only the first day. There are a lot of chances. The first day wasn't so bad, but without you made it strange- ____ _

____Isak pauses, shaking his head, crumpling the paper in his hands. No. That seems too weird to write. He starts again._ _ _ _

_____Hey Even. It's been a damn long time since I've seen you. No interesting girls but it's only the first day so we'll see what happens. The first day wasn't bad - it was just really boring. Jonas and the guys miss you, dude. I guess I miss you too but you were a shithead. Just kidding, but yeah. You should totally come visit. I looked up at the sky today, too. I thought of you a bit. Nothing major, just remembering that you're not that far away- ____ _ _ _

______Crumpling noises fill the air as Isak trashes every single attempt of writing back a letter. He gives up and hopes in his mind that Even doesn't think he's forgetting about him. That could never happen. He shoves the notebook back into his bag as his dad calls him to dinner. He walks out, sitting himself at the table with his food and eats solemnly, the noodles being way over cooked and the sauce a little scorched, but he eats it anyway. He finishes quickly, washing off his plate in the sink and setting it to the side to dry. The phone rings and his dad answers it but Isak keeps his head down, busy washing off his fathers plate as well as he holds the phone to his ear._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Hello?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"May I ask who's calling?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Oh, Jonas! Yeah, Isak's right here," his dad grins, handing off the phone to Isak, telling him he'll finish up as Isak takes the phone into the living room._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Hey," Isak says._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Hey. Anything from Even? A phone call, maybe?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"No, I don't even think he has our home phone," Isak shrugs. "He sends me little letters, though. It's pretty cool."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"At least he keeps in touch. I had this friend once that I was super close with but they moved and didn't ever talk to me. I think they're a crack head now or something," Jonas laughs on the other end but Isak stays quiet._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yeah."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Are you okay, dude?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm fine, why?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"You've seemed super upset ever since you talked to us about Even moving."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I just kind of miss him, I guess," but really Isak misses him a lot._ _ _ _ _ _

______"We all miss him," Jonas tells him. "He was a great kid. Just a trouble maker."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Isak smiles at that a bit, "Yeah, you're right."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Just let me know if Even tries to seriously get in contact with you. If he does but you can't reach me, tell him I said hey," Jonas laughs again._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I will, don't worry."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Cool. I gotta go now, see you."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"See you."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Isak pushes the end call button, setting the phone on the coffee table in the living room and he plops himself on the sofa, turning on the TV to some boring news cast. He drowns himself into the noise, trying to numb his thoughts of Even but it doesn't work. At a quarter to ten, he turns off the TV, sleepily making it into his room. Just before he shuts the door, he hears the loud ringing of the phone going off in the kitchen. He rushes to go and turn it off, but he notices the number on the small screen. Even? He hesitates to press the 'accept call' button, but he can hear his father shifting upstairs in his bed and he quickly presses the button, whispering a tired 'hello'._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Isak?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______He pauses, his heart racing, "Even?" No answer. "Even, it's late. What do you want?" Isak scowls, but instantly takes back his words because he wants to talk to Even for hours._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Somethings happened," Even whispers, his voice cracking a bit._ _ _ _ _ _

______Isak instantly fills with panic, "What? What has happened?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"That's the thing. I don't know."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"What do you mean? Are you home?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Now I am, yeah. I had this weird... thing. My mom said I just disappeared from school. Just walked out in the middle of class. They found me a few hours later, my coat and things missing. They took me to see a doctor to see if I was okay, and he said I had a manic episode. Like, he mentioned me being bipolar."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Even, what do you mean? I'm confused."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"He asked me all these weird questions like, 'Have you had periods of you feeling overly happy? Maybe depressed?' I don't understand. Like, yeah, I just thought I was sad because I missed you," Even rushes out, taking a deep breath._ _ _ _ _ _

______Isak's breath hitches at the words 'I missed you', but continues on with Even, "Did they say you were okay?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm bipolar, Isak. I'm not okay."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Isak stops to collect his thoughts, and then speaks again, "You're okay. You'll be okay. Be okay for me?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Even huffs on the other line, and Isak's heart almost breaks because he knows how Even is when he's sad, "I'll try my best. For you."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"And for yourself, right?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Isak swears he can hear Even's smile, "And for myself, yes."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Good. Are you going to be going to school tomorrow?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Even sighs, "No, my mom thinks it's best if I stay home for a bit. I'll catch up on everything later."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Good, good. Oh- thanks for the, uh, letter. And drawing. It was nice," Isak smiles a bit, biting his lip._ _ _ _ _ _

______Even chuckles, "You're welcome. Are you going to write back to me?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Maybe. Just maybe."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"You better. I'll let you sleep now. Don't get into any trouble tomorrow."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Isak laughs, "No promises, you know how me and the boys are. Oh! Jonas wanted me to tell you he said hi whenever we got in touch. So, a hi from Jonas. Might as well say hi on behalf of Magnus and Mahdi, too."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Tell them all I said hi and that I'm doing okay," Even replies._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You will be okay, right?" Isak pushes one last time._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes, Isak. I promise. I'll be okay. I hope."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I hope for you, too. I-" Isak pauses, biting down on his lip painfully. "I want you to be happy."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I am. Right now, anyway. It's been so weird without seeing you every day which is really what makes me sad," Even lets out a breath and Isak hears sheets ruffling._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Are you just moping and talking to me in your bed?" Isak jokes, letting out a soft laugh._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yeah, it's the best place to be when you're sad."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I thought you said you were happy?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I am, jee! How many times do I have to say it?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Until I believe you," Isak admits._ _ _ _ _ _

______"That's going to be a long time."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Look, Even. Just try and be happy. I have to head off to bed, but I'll call you after school tomorrow?" Isak asks, hopeful._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Of course, I'll be waiting. You calling might just help you believe that I am happy because you make me happy," Even says quietly._ _ _ _ _ _

______Isak's stomach flips, but in a good way as he responds, "You make me happy, too. Good night, Even." Isak says._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Good night, Isak. Sleep well."_ _ _ _ _ _

______And he does._ _ _ _ _ _


	3. Ch. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this update took so long to appear, but I've been having troubles with finding the motivation to write for the past few days but look! It's finally here. Massive time jump in this chapter but it should be clearly stated within the first sentence/sentences of this update. Enjoy! Also - never be afraid to leave any opinions for me after you read this chapter. I'm always open to constructive criticism and I will never take it harshly. Thank you!

"Can you believe we're done with middle school and that we're gonna be high schoolers in, like, three months?" Magnus says as they stand in the school yard, the warm breeze surrounding them.

"I know, right? It's crazy," Isak laughs, fixing his snap back on his head. "Anyway, I'm free tonight if you guys wanna do anything? My dad is still out of town dealing with mom and whatnot."

"My parents aren't home till tomorrow morning if you wanna come over?" Jonas offers, glancing around the group.

"I have to head home and help my mom with some stuff," Mahdi shrugs. "Sorry, dudes."

"I've got this weird thing with Vilde tonight at her place, and if I don't go I'll get my ass chewed. I guess you're stuck with Isak," Magnus chuckles as Isak shoves him a bit, giving him a sharp glance.

"That's chill. I got shit for good brownies," Jonas smirks.

"Oh, hell yeah. I'm down."

"Nice, we can just head over to my place now. See you guys later," Jonas turns and Isak starts to follow him out of the school yard, the fragrance of violet all around them making Isak feel at peace. He glances up at the blue sky that's riddled with white streaks of clouds and smiles to himself, thinking about how Even might be seeing the sky at this moment. Rain? Shine? Snow? Who knows?

-

"Where the fuck did you get these brownies, dude," Isak laughs, half of an eaten brownie still in his hand as he lies on Jonas' bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"I really have no clue," Jonas laughs with Isak. "But I'm glad I got them from that dude in the school yard. I got them only because I wrote his essay."

Isak laughs again, causing the bed to shake, "They are some good brownies, but fuck. I need to stop eating them." Isak protests, throwing the half-eaten brownie in the near trash can in the corner of Jonas' room.

"What a great way to celebrate starting high school," Jonas admits.

"I know, right," Isak pauses a minute, letting out a deep sigh before speaking again. "I miss Even."

"I know, dude. Trust me, me and the boys miss him too."

"I just have this feeling that he's going to show up out of nowhere and completely change my life - but I don't know if he's going to change it for bad or for good yet if he does show up somehow."

"Okay, yeah. You definitely need to stop eating those brownies," Jonas grins, rolling over on his stomach to face Isak but his face catches him off guard - Isak is serious. "Isak, man are you okay?"

Isak shrugs, his eyebrows knitting together and his voice sounds a little defensive, "I'm fine."

"Are you staying over?" Jonas asks, dropping the subject of Even.

"No, I think I'm just gonna head home," Isak groans, getting up from the bed and slipping on his shoes. 

"Are you sure? You ate two and a half brownies," Jonas smirks, stuffing the last bit of his own in his mouth.

"I think I'll manage, I can walk in a straight line," Isak grins, pulling on his jacket. "I'll come back tomorrow or something, okay?"

Jonas nods a response as Isak walks out of his room, making his way downstairs and to the porch in the back of the house, walking across the backyard and jumping through the shrubs. He shakes off some of the leaves that caught in his hair and starts heading down the sidewalk. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out and sees a text from Sana;

_Sana: Hey, party at Emma's. Please come, I'm dying here. All the girls are drunk and I can't control them. Please come. ___

__Isak grins, quickly texting a response;_ _

___Isak: I'll be there soon. Just hang in there. ____ _

____Isak rushes through town to get to Emma's, and when he finally shows up the whole place and pulsing with loud music. He's allowed in easy access and soon finds himself standing with Sana, Eva leaning on his shoulder and Noora on Sana's right side on the couch. He finds himself with a beer in his hand and Eva leaning on him in the middle of the room, but he really couldn't care less._ _ _ _

____"Eva, are you okay?" Isak asks, chuckling._ _ _ _

____Eva smiles, giggling, "Yeah, I've just had a lot of beer."_ _ _ _

____"Speaking of beer, I'm gonna go get another. Is that chill with you?" Isak asks._ _ _ _

____"That's going to be your fifth one, you don't need it!" Eva pouts._ _ _ _

____"I shouldn't be drinking at all, Eva," Isak laughs again. "It'll be my last one, I swear."_ _ _ _

____With that, Isak breaks away from Eva's grasp and escapes into the kitchen. He grabs a beer from the fridge and turns, but stops short when he finds someone standing close to him. He scowls, "Hey, could you-" but his words get caught in his throat once he sees whose eyes he's looking into._ _ _ _

____"Even?" Isak manages, almost dropping the beer in his hands._ _ _ _

____Even grins, his eyes filled with astonishment, "Well, hey, Isak."_ _ _ _

____Isak takes a deep breath, his stomach clenching. He slowly sets down the beer, suddenly feeling tense and uneasy. He breaks away from looking at Even, "Excuse me."_ _ _ _

____Isak rushes past Even and finds his way to the bathroom, barely closing the door before he leans over the toilet, throwing up all the beer that has been sitting in his stomach. It burns his throat and tears spring into his eyes and he hears someone enter the bathroom behind him and he tries speaking, but he can't manage out anything except more vomit. He finally catches his breath after a minute of heaving, his eyes still blurred with tears and as soon as the person beside him comes to focus, he groans._ _ _ _

____"When the hell did you get back? I haven't heard from you in years," Isak mumbles, taking the cold, damp rag from Even without thinking twice and wipes his mouth._ _ _ _

____"I got back yesterday morning. Is that why you threw up?" Even lets out a small laugh and that's when Isak notices Even has a hand on his back._ _ _ _

____"No. I think... I think I drank too much," Isak groans again, his head pounding from the pressure of heaving._ _ _ _

____"I figured you would be a light weight. You also look like you got a mile high. Jeez," Even grins and Isak shoots him a sharp look, slowly beginning to stand and Even helps him, one hand on his back and his other on Isak's arm._ _ _ _

____"Why did you come back, anyway?" Isak asks, moving his way to the sink._ _ _ _

____"I got expelled from the school I was enrolled with in America. I got caught smoking weed on campus and my dad got pretty bashed for it because I kind of hid it in his office at the house, so they found it. So he just decided to come back. Here I am."_ _ _ _

____Isak sighs, turning on the faucet to the coldest it will go and leans down, splashing some of the water on his face, "You could have fucking called me."_ _ _ _

____He hears Even let out a sigh, "Sorry, I just-" he pauses, and Isak can feel Even remove his hand from his back. "I don't know. I just didn't want to jump back into your life like that. I figured you were ignoring me because you never, ever replied to my letters or drawings. You also never called me back after I told you I was bipolar, even though you said you were going to."_ _ _ _

____Isak wipes off his face with a nearby towel and glances up at Even and he can see the hurt in his eyes which makes his heart clench, "You remember that?" Even nods. "I'm sorry."_ _ _ _

____Even shrugs, looking down at his shoes, "It's fine. You should go home, your dad is probably missing you-"_ _ _ _

____"My dad isn't home," Isak rushes, crossing his arms._ _ _ _

____"What do you mean he isn't home?"_ _ _ _

____"He's dealing with some shit with my mom out of town. He's been gone for about three days. He called and said he wasn't going to be back for another five."_ _ _ _

____"Do you think you can make it home yourself?" Even asks, biting his lip._ _ _ _

____"In all honesty? No. I don't think I can," Isak shrugs._ _ _ _

____Even thinks for a minute, "I can walk you?"_ _ _ _

____Isak smiles, feeling a weird feeling bubble up in his stomach at the offer, "Sure, let's go. I feel like I'm about to pass out."_ _ _ _

____Even chuckles and they head out of the bathroom and out of the loud music, the light from the moon surrounding them as they walk down the empty street in silence. Isak's shoulders are tense as he stands a few feet away from Even, his body still feeling a bit unbalanced. Isak lets out a sigh before breaking the fragile silence, "So are you enrolled at Nissen?"_ _ _ _

____"Yeah, I'm starting out high school. Just like you," Even smiles and Isak's eyes flick down to his lips but he quickly looks away, "Cool."_ _ _ _

____"How was middle school without me?"_ _ _ _

____"Boring as hell. Terrible. I don't want to relive it. Fucking terrible," Isak manages a laugh and Even laughs with him as they look at each other, the moonlight catching in Even's eyes causing Isak's heart to flutter. They eventually make it to Isak's house, and just as he pulls the key out of his pocket to unlock the door, Even grabs his wrist causing Isak to jump a little as he looks at Even, raising an eyebrow._ _ _ _

____"Are you okay?" Isak whispers, not pulling away from the grip._ _ _ _

____"I really missed you, Isak," Even manages, letting his hands drop to his side, letting Isak go. "You know, I looked up at the sky every night before I fell asleep just thinking about you. About us. About our childhood we spent together."_ _ _ _

____Isak smiles softly, walking up closer to Even, "I guess I could admit that I did that a couple times, too, but it was mainly in the morning when I looked up. I guess we have our differences."_ _ _ _

____Even smiles, "I swear, I'll never leave you to fend for yourself again."_ _ _ _

____"I managed without you, but barely," Isak moves just a bit closer. "I missed you."_ _ _ _

____Isak finally closed the space between them, wrapping his arms around Even and pulling him into a tight hug and Isak can't ignore the feeling of his stomach flipping as he just holds Even and he realizes how much he missed Even being so close to him. He lets out a content sigh as he lets go, making his way back to the door and unlocks it with his key, putting it back into his pocket._ _ _ _

____"Goodnight, Even. Thanks... for walking me home," Isak smiles._ _ _ _

____"It's no problem. Here's my number so you can text me whenever you want," Even hands him a small piece of paper and Isak takes it, putting it in his pocket. "Goodnight."_ _ _ _

____Just as Even turns to walk away, Isak gasps, remembering his jacket in his closet, "Even, wait! I have something of yours, come here," Isak says, nodding his head towards the house and he walks in and he can hear Even follow, shutting the door. He rushes into his room, turning on the light and opens the closet door and pulls out the hoodie, slipping it off the hangar. He grins, holding it out towards Even, "Here."_ _ _ _

____"Why do you still have this?" Even asks, his voice filled with disbelief as he takes the jacket from Isak._ _ _ _

____"I-" Isak stops, biting his lip. "You forgot to ask it back before you left at the airport."_ _ _ _

____"Has it been in your closet the whole time?"_ _ _ _

____"No," Isak feels his cheeks heat up a bit. "I've worn it a couple times."_ _ _ _

____Even lets out an 'aw', slipping off his jacket and puts on the hoodie, "Look at that, it still fits me!"_ _ _ _

____Isak and Even laugh, and Isak sits on his bed and it feels so comfortable having Even back in his room because it reminds him of old times before he left for America. Isak bites the inside of his mouth, avoiding Even's gaze but he doesn't tense when Even sits beside him. He smiles, leaning down a bit in order to see Isak's face since he's keeping his gaze low. Isak bites back a smile but Even notices and he grins, "Was that a smile, hm?"_ _ _ _

____Isak shoves him a bit, shaking his head, "What? No!"_ _ _ _

____"Hm, sure," Even pulls out his phone, looking down at the time. "I should start heading home. My parents aren't home right now, either, but they probably will be in the morning. They hate when I stay out all night."_ _ _ _

____"Will you stay?" Isak whispers and Even almost doesn't catch it._ _ _ _

____"What?"_ _ _ _

____Isak clears his throat, "Will you stay? You know, like a sleepover?"_ _ _ _

____Even beams and Isak feels like his face has been in front of a fire pit for hours, "I'd love to. Screw my parents. I haven't seen my best friend in years."_ _ _ _

____Isak nods, letting out a yawn and without saying anything more, he lies back on the bed, "Could you turn off the light?"_ _ _ _

____"Do I have to? You always made me the one to turn it off!" Even groans, but he of course gets up and turns it off anyway. "Do you have any extra pillows or something so I can sleep on the floor?"_ _ _ _

____"You don't have to sleep on the floor. You can just share the bed with me," and Isak is glad Even turned off the light because his blush is burning. He doesn't hear Even say anything but he can feel the weight on the bed shift as Even climbs in and Isak kicks off his shows and kicks them to the side and he feels Even do the same. He pulls up the blanket around them, and lets out a soft sigh as he feels Even relax beside him. Even falls asleep quickly just like always, but Isak stays awake for another hour, and once he's sure Even is asleep he nuzzles himself carefully into the crook of Even's arm, breathing in the deep scent that is still on the hoodie but he also catches the scent of the Even that is here now. Fresh, almost a renewed version._ _ _ _

____Isak smiles a little, and soon he's asleep despite the small pounding in his head from the alcohol, the quiet beating of his and Even's heart lulling him to sleep and the warmth of the body next to him making him feel comfortable and at ease. Isak doesn't seem to give a care in the world to the fact that his best friend has been gone for so long, all he can think about is how Even is here with him, just like the old days._ _ _ _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halla! Here it is, chapter four already. Wow. A lot of big stuff is said in this chapter and a couple of big reveals too, oooh! Anyway, thank you for reading. Enjoy!

Isak turns onto his side as he opens his eyes, squinting a bit from the bright light coming through his windows and he finds that he has a pounding headache. He finds himself alone in his bed as he sits up, looking around the room but Even is no where to be seen. He sighs, guessing that he probably left early, and crawls out of bed. He doesn't bother changing out of his clothes from last night as he heads into the kitchen, but as he opens his bedroom door he gets a whiff of pancakes and eggs. He raises an eyebrow, shuffling into the kitchen quietly and he sees Even hovering over the stove, flipping a pancake. 

He stays quiet, watching Even, and smiles to himself, feeling a bit better knowing Even stayed. An unfamiliar feeling arises in his stomach and he finds himself leaving the kitchen and heading to the bathroom, wrenching up nothing but a last few bits of brownie and more beer. Isak groans to himself, flushing the toilet and quickly brushing his teeth before heading back to Even. As he lets his hands drop away from his eyes, he comes up short as he finds Even in front of him in the small doorway arch leading into the kitchen with a glass of water and a small pill.

"What's this?" Isak asks, a bit dumbfounded.

"Some water and ibuprofen for you," Even answers, almost thrusting the glass of water into Isak's hand and gently placing the pill in his other with a swift, quick motion.

"For what?" Isak raises an eyebrow, rolling the pill around in his palm. "Where did you even find these-"

Even laughs, "Don't tell me you don't know what a hangover is."

"I only have a headache-" Isak starts, but Even cuts him off again.

"And you just threw up. I could hear you. You're hungover. Just take the pill, please?" Even counters, and Isak can see the concern in his eyes which makes him almost melt. He sighs, knocking back the pill with the water and he finds himself incredibly thirsty as he downs the glass of water as well, taking a big breath once he's finished. 

"Are you feeling up to eating?" Even asks once he's done, taking the empty glass from Isak and placing it in the strainer.

In response, Isak's stomach grumbles and he blushes a bit, nodding, "Come to think of it, yeah."

Even grins, letting out a chuckle as Isak sits at the small table as Even serves him his plate. Isak takes a small bite of pancakes and he can instantly taste the cinnamon and he lets out a sigh, taking another bit. His eyes flicker up at Even as he finishes up chewing and he finds Even already watching him which causes his face to heat up. He glances away, swallowing, and he eventually finishes everything on his plate.

"Good?" Even asks and Isak nods as he picks up their dishes from the table, beginning to wash them in the sink as Isak gets up from the table himself, going over to stand by the counter. "The trick for the eggs was a tablespoon of sour cream. It does wonders, doesn't it?"

"I thought you had left," Isak admits, ignoring Even about the eggs while biting his lip, leaning back on the counter.

Even smiles softly, shrugging. "Hey," Even turns off the faucet once the sink is filled. "I was just in here making breakfast. No need to worry."

Isak nods again, letting out a breath, "I was just afraid that my dad was going to show up or something and find you here and take the wrong idea."

"What wrong idea?"

Isak shrugs, "Us- together- I don't know," Isak manages, feeling heat rise in his cheeks and he coughs, trying to clear up the awkward feeling between them.

"Of us being together like a couple?" Even lets out a laugh. "Isak, that's crazy."

"Why is it crazy?" Isak asks defensively, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Because we're just best friends, Isak. Not... boyfriends," Even explains and Isak thinks he hears a bit of doubt in Even's voice but he shakes it off. Of course he's not in love with Even, he might never be. He really doubts Even would ever love him, either.

"Yeah, I know. You're right," Isak laughs weakly. "Listen, you're welcome to go if you want." Isak feels sadness build up in his throat as he says the words and he wants to take them back just as fast as they came out.

"Do you want me to go?" Even asks, raising a questioning eyebrow as if he doesn't want to go at all.

And, God, no, Isak never wants Even to leave him again like he did last time.

"No." Isak responds which earns him a smile from Even.

"Really? You couldn't wait for me to leave when we were kids," Even jokes, putting away some of the already dried dishes into the cabinets above him.

Isak rolls his eyes, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, "We're not kids anymore."

After Isak says that, Even turns a bit serious, nodding. "No. We're not," he lets out a breath, his shoulders relaxing. "So, what do you want to do?"

"I... really don't know?" Isak laughs. "We could go out somewhere?"

"Like where? I haven't been here in... a long time. Is there any new places?"

Isak thinks for a minute, crossing his arms, "There's a new ice cream parlor downtown? Or, we could go see a movie," Isak stops, letting out a sigh."You know what, we could just stay here. I think I'd rather stay here."

Even beams, nodding, "That sounds good with me, anything you want sounds good with me."

Isak feels a grin spread across his face, "Do you wanna watch a movie or something?" 

"Sure."

They head into the living room and Isak picks a random movie from the shelf, putting it into the DVD player and he lets it run, sitting down next to Even on the love seat, a few feet apart from him. His heart is racing, but he can't place as to why it is. His breathing stops a bit as he watches Even move closer to him out of the corner of his eye, but he doesn't attempt to move. He lets it happen, and it happens so slowly, and Isak just wants to pick up the pace and pull Even close to him by his waist-

Fuck. Isak stops himself and just allows Even to move close to his side and he almost leans into him immediately, but he doesn't. He lets out a soft sigh, the feeling of Even being so close comforting him and he finds himself not lost in the movie - but lost in Even and him just being here. He finds himself glancing up at the older boy many times, his stomach fluttering every time. His heart skipping a beat. It can't be love. Absolutely not.

Isak forces himself to push down the weird feelings in his stomach through the movies they watch, but it's almost unbearable and all he wants to do is hug Even so close because he cannot remember the last time he has ever hugged someone and the hug meant something. Anything. The only meaningful hug to him was the last one he had with Even at the airport, but that was the saddest hug he had ever experienced in his life.

-

A few hours into their movie marathon, Isak finds the courage to break the silence they've been sitting in for three movies. He takes the remote, pressing pause and he turns himself, crossing his legs on the couch, facing Even. Even tilts his head a bit, giving Isak a confused look but he arranges himself so he is looking back at Isak.

"Can I ask you something?" Isak bites his cheek and almost winces at the pain, being careful not to draw blood.

"Of course," Even responds, slipping Isak a small and soft smile.

"I'm not trying to be pushy, and you don't have to answer any questions because they might be too personal, but... what exactly does being bipolar mean?" Isak huffs, twirling his thumbs in his lap.

He hears Even take in a big breath before he speaks but he keeps his gaze down, "It's really hard to explain, Isak."

"Like I said, you don't have to answer it or anything," Isak rushes out, shaking his head quickly.

"No, I'll tell you. You're my best friend, you deserve to know. I just have to find the right words, is all," Even takes another breath. "Being bipolar is... something strange, in a way, for someone to understand and really, I'm still kind of confused about it. Really, my bipolar depression is just experiencing strange periods of 'highs' and 'lows'. Like, I could be super stoked for a week, and then the next it just goes completely down hill. The doctor calls it 'episodes;."

"Do you have to go through with that every day? Like, how are you feeling right now?" Isak asks quietly, picking up his head and meeting Even's gaze.

"I have to go through this for my whole life, Isak. But, right now? I'm feeling okay. Really, I promise," Even manages a smile.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Sometimes, I act out but I don't really know what's happening. I can't do anything to stop it. Like that time I called you because I left school for no reason? That was why. I was acting out, people say I'm crazy. I'll tell them I'm pansexual and they just think I'm acting out again," Even shrugs. "It's tough."

Isak's words catch in his throat as Even says the word 'pansexual'. It's strange. He would have never thought Even would be into guys. He shakes it off, "So, when you left the school... that was an episode-?"

"Yeah," Even admits.

Isak hums a response, nodding, not knowing what else to say. His mind is racing with so many questions, and he wants to kick himself once his mouth acts faster than his head, "You're pansexual, too?"

Even's lip twitches up at the corner into a slight smile, "Yeah, I am. Does that surprise you?"

"A bit, yeah," Isak responds, letting out a deep sigh. "I just didn't see you as the type to like both guys and girls and, you know, everyone else, is all."

"I guess that did just come out of no where, sorry," Even shrugs. "I just feel openly attracted to both women and guys and others, like non-binary people. Does it make you feel uncomfortable?"

"No, no! It's fine, don't worry about it! It's good that you're open about who you are." Isak lets out a breathy laugh, smiling a bit.

Even laughs, nodding, "Okay. Anyway, do you have a girlfriend, Isak?"

Isak stops short, making a weird face, "No..?"

"Shame, but I figured," Even smirks.

"Ah- I- fuck you! I can get plenty of chicks if I wanted them!" Isak retorts, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say, Isak," Even grins playfully, crossing his arms.

"You know what-" Isak reaches over, grabbing a throw pillow from the corner of the couch and he swings it, hitting Even right in his shoulder.

"Ow, that hurt! Asshole!" Even pouts, acting upset but as Isak is laughing, Even takes the other pillow from his side and swings it toward Isak, hitting him in his left side, causing him to partially fall off the couch.

"Hey! What the fuck, man!" Isak exclaims once he catches his breath, still clutching the pillow in his hand. "You little fuck-" Isak starts as he drags Even by his arm down to the floor with him, hitting him again with the pillow on his chest.

They roll around on the floor for what seems like hours, continuously swatting one another with the pillows, the pain from laughing so much almost causing them to stop but they don't. They are both gasping for breath when they stop for a minute, their faces flushed and sweaty - Even hovers above Isak, almost pinning his wrist to the floor, one knee placed between Isak's legs. Isak is a mess below him, his heart racing, and he feels like it's going to burst out of his chest. He takes a big gulp of air, staring into Even's gaze above him but he doesn't dare move. He can't bring himself to do it. Even takes a gulp of air as he pulls himself away, taking his hand and brushing his hair off of his sweaty forehead. 

Isak's stomach feels like a hurricane - twisting and turning and a hundred miles per hour and all he can think about is how Even must feel the same. He collects himself, sitting up and balancing himself on his knees, throwing the pillow onto the couch. They sit on the floor in silence for a few minutes, catching their breath - Isak mainly trying to catch his thoughts. 

"Do you want a, uh-" Isak starts, his voice a little shaky. "A drink?"

Even nods, getting up from the floor, "Yeah, that sounds good."

They both head into the kitchen and Isak grabs two glasses from the cabinets, placing them on the counter beside Even as he pulls out the water jug from the fridge that's full with ice-cold water. He fills the cups to the brim and they down them within seconds, having to catch their breath again. The air is tense around them, almost a bit awkward, as Isak sets his cup in the strainer and Even does the same.

"Just like old times, huh?" Isak says, managing a smile.

"Yeah, but it feels way different from old times..." Even shrugs. "Listen, Isak. I should go. My parents are probably back home and wondering where I am. I'll tell them I was here, don't worry, I just-" he pauses, clearing his throat. "I need to go."

Isak doesn't get a chance to say anything and then Even is out the door without saying a goodbye. Isak feels hurt, alone, but he swallows the emotions and pulls out his phone and runs into his room, grabbing the scrap of paper from his jacket that holds Even's number. He quickly puts it into his contacts and sends a quick text before he stops himself.

Hey, it's Isak. I don't know what the hell that was about but if it was about what happened in the living room with the pillow fight, it's fine. I don't find it awkward or anything. You could have at least said goodbye before you just up and left like that, but you probably had your reasons. I'll see you whenever.

-

Isak lies wide awake that night, his phone on his chest and every now and then he checks his messages with Even but he hasn't received anything since when he sent that text after he had left. He sighs to himself, getting out of their messages and he pulls up his conversation with Sana.

_Isak: Hey, best bud._

_Sana: Best bud?_

_Isak: Are we not best buds?_

_Sana: Not entirely sure if I would go that far, Isabell_

_Isak: Fine, Sanasol._

_Sana: What happened with you at the party? You left so sudden with that random guy. Hook up, hmm?_

_Isak: Nei! It was an old childhood friend of mine. I was super drunk and I puked and he just offered to walk me home, so I took the offer._

_Sana: Okay, Isabell. I believe you._

_Isak: Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I hook up with every guy at a party_

_Sana: I was only joking._

_Isak: I know, I've just been having a weird day. Well, yesterday I was having a weird day. Shouldn't you be sleeping? It's 2 am._

_Sana: Well, I was about to sleep when you texted me._

_Isak: Sorry Sanasol, I can let you sleep. Night._

_Sana: Good night, Isabell._

_Isak: Wait wait_

_Sana: ???_

_Isak: How do you know if a guy likes you?_

_Sana: Isak!! Are you falling in love!!_

_Isak: What?? Nei!!_

_Isak: Maybe, I don't know._

_Sana: Time will tell. Now, good night!_

_Isak: Good night. ___

__Isak sighs, closing out their chat and clicking off his phone, dropping it back onto his chest but shortly after he hears the familiar notification sound of receiving a text. His heart jumps a bit as he quickly goes back into his messages and he feels a weight lift off his shoulders. Even._ _

___Even: Hi, Isak. Sorry I left so sudden earlier. I guess it was pretty weird of me to not say good bye. And, no, it wasn't awkward to me or anything either. I don't know, it was just weird. But don't take that as a bad thing. ____ _

__Isak stops a minute, rereading the text before he finally replies;_ _

___Isak: It's no problem. Do you think we can hang out tomorrow? ____ _

___Even: Sure, where do you have in mind?_ _ _

___Isak: I dunno, somewhere around town?_ _ _

___Even: Sounds okay with me. I can stop by your place and then we can go wherever?_ _ _

___Isak smiles down at his phone, his heart fluttering._ _ _

___Isak: Yeah, sure. Sounds cool. I'm heading off to bed. Good night. Thanks for a good day. ❤️️_ _ _

___Even: ❤️️❤️️Anytime, best friend. Good night._ _ _

__Isak lets out a happy sigh, reaching over and putting his phone on his charger before removing his hoodie and t-shirt, slipping off his jeans and trading them for sweats. He finds himself lying in bed, his mind a whirlpool of thoughts. He really can't possibly be in love with Even._ _

__Could he?_ _

__Is he?_ _

__Isak lets out a huff, his shoulders tensing with anger and confusion. He never thought in a million years he would develop feelings for a childhood friend._ _

__Is this what he's experiencing?_ _

__Feelings?_ _

__Isak can't bring himself to confront the thoughts of Even and who he is to him, and so that's how he falls asleep. His mind a jumbled mess of thoughts about how he thinks about Even. How he thinks about himself. Could he really be playing himself like this? Time will tell._ _

__-_ _

__Isak wakes abruptly from his sleep in a cold sweat, but he can't remember what he was dreaming of. He takes his phone, checking the time and he finds he's barely been asleep for three hours. He groans, getting up and finding a change of clothes and he decides for a quick shower. It comforts him a bit, but he finally realizes what he dreamed about. More of _who _he dreamed about. Even. He shivers under the warm water and finally shuts it off, drying and changing into the clothes, a towel draped around his shoulders to catch the water droplets from his hair.___ _

____He returns back to his room, sitting on the end of his bed with his phone in his hand, rereading his and Even's conversation before he fell asleep. He gathers up the courage to send a quick text before he tries to sleep;_ _ _ _

_____Isak: I think we need to talk about something tomorrow. Maybe. I don't know yet. I just know we need to talk._ _ _ _ _

____He waits for a response for several minutes, but the ticket doesn't even show up that he's read it. Isak sighs, setting his phone back on his bedside table, taking the towel and running it through his hair before throwing it in the corner of his room. He falls back onto the bed, staring at his ceiling, and his mind won't be quiet. He doesn't know what he's thinking - feeling - wanting. He doesn't seem to know much of himself anymore, which is really starting to piss him off. He just hopes he can get out of this. The last thing he wants now is to fuck up everything between him and Even._ _ _ _

____He thinks back to what he told Jonas that night in his room with the brownies on whether or not Even was going to come back into his life and change it up in a good way or completely mess it up. He knows it hasn't been long enough for a serious answer, but then again Isak would never come to a serious answer. He just hopes Even is back for food. That he doesn't have to be alone as much anymore._ _ _ _

____Isak eventually drifts off again, his hair still a bit wet and soaking his pillow again but he couldn't careless - all he could care about right is Even back in his life. When he wakes up again in the morning, he feels ready. Ready to go, but can't exactly place what he feels the need to do. He quickly texts Even for a good time for him to stop by and Even agrees, and Isak thinks he finally knows what he needs to do._ _ _ _

____He just doesn't know if he's ready yet. He just hopes he's ready to talk about it._ _ _ _


	5. Ch. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This is a big chapter. Not word wise, but event wise. You all are in for a wild ride. Enjoy! <3

As Isak and Even sit on the dandelion and weed surrounded bench on the side of an empty basketball court, it's silent. The distant humming of the cars filling the void. This is where Isak has taken him. Isak lets out a shaky sigh, glancing over at Even who's hands are together in his lap and his gaze is fixated on something in the distance. Isak coughs, shaking his arms a bit to try and loosen up his muscles to ease the stress but it doesn't work. His stomach is knotted and he feels sick, but he knows he needs to do this. 

"Even?" Isak says and he clears his throat because it comes out so quiet.

Even doesn't change his gaze, "Hm?"

"I need to tell you something," Isak replies, his hands shaking so bad he tightens them into fists.

"What is it? Is it that you're terrible at basketball?" Even grins, finally fixing his gaze on Isak.

"I am the master of basketball, what are you talking about?" Isak retorts but he knows it's a lie. Even laughs, nodding.

"Okay, whatever you say. So, what do you need to tell me?"

"It's really serious, so I don't want laughing and all that shit, okay? This is... tough for me," Isak admits, biting his lip. 

"If it's important to you, I promise I won't laugh or anything," Even says, and Isak knows he means it because of the firmness of his voice.

Isak takes a deep breath, and rushes out the words, "I'm gay."

They sit in silence on the bench for a while, neither one wanting to speak a word which makes Isak anxious. Even should be understanding, right? Him of all people.

"That's chill, Isak," Even finally says, shattering the silence between them.

"That's chill?" 

"That's chill."

Isak feels a smile spread wide across his face and he lets out a laugh, his nerves feeling easy, "God, it feels so good to finally say it out loud."

"Have you told your dad?" Even asks, keeping his eyes on the younger boy beside him.

Isak shakes his head, "No, I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"Tell him when you're ready, yeah?"

Isak nods, "Have you told your parents? You know, about you being pansexual?"

"Yeah, they were pretty chill with it. They don't really care, they just care about me being happy."

Isak nods again, but he doesn't say anything more. He just lets out another sigh, looking at the scenery around him. He feels a nudge on his arm and he turns, noticing Even has moved closer to him and his eyes are wide with excitement, "There's an abandoned basket ball over there. Wanna play?"

Isak rolls his eyes, but his smile stays permanent like cement, "Sure."

Even grins, getting up from the bench and jogging to grab the ball and Isak stands in the middle of the court, waiting for Even to run back. He grins as Even makes his way over, standing a few feet away from him with the ball in his hands. Even bounces it a couple times and finds it's still full of air, and he bounces it over to Isak who clumsily manages to get the ball in his hands. He smiles, raising a daring eyebrow at Even.

"You start," Even says, smirking as they switch positions, Isak being easily able enough to run around him and shoot the ball, but he knows he doesn't have the grace for it but he will attempt anyways. He grins as he begins dribbling, trying to make his way around Even and aim for the hoop but Even is quick on his feet, swiping the ball from underneath Isak's hand and he makes it to the hoop, dunking it in. "Come on, Isak! I thought you were a pro?"

Isak scoffs, rolling his eyes again, "I am! I just wasn't ready!"

"Whatever you say. I'll start this time," and this runaround is just as quick as the first, Even swiftly being able to make the basket. 

"You know what, fuck you! I'm usually a pro at basketball but you're taller than I am!" Isak huffs, crossing his arms. Even's grin is still on his face as he bounces the ball towards Isak which Isak takes anyway. "One more try, I swear I can make my goal to get one basket. I need to start heading home soon, the sun is setting."

Even nods, "One more."

Isak lets out a breath, closing his eyes to concentrate and he opens them in a flash, dodging his way past Even and he's almost to the basket when Even is right in front of him, blocking his shot, his body so close to Isak's that his heart almost stops and his breathing is coming out in short bursts, but not from the exercise. His arms are raised, the basketball in his hands and he's so ready to shoot but he can't tear his eyes away from Even - his blue eyes sparkling, hair glistening from the sweat and the sun catching it just right. His arms feel heavy and he finds himself dropping the ball, letting his hands drop to his sides but Even doesn't move and his expression stays the same. The next moment happens in a flash with Isak raising his arms again and placing his hands behind Even's neck, pulling him down into a kiss. What surprises him the most is that Even doesn't move away - he kisses him back.

Isak can't stop himself from smiling into the kiss, his arms wrapped around Even's neck and Even's hands moving to his waist, clutching the fabric of his shirt. He tilts his head a bit, deepening the kiss and he feels a surge of pride and confidence bloom in his chest and the butterflies in his stomach are going crazy but he loves it. He loves every second of this. They eventually pull away, gasping for breath but they're both smiling wide, not wanting to let go of the other but unfortunately they have to. 

"I have to go home, Even," Isak says, dropping his arms from Even's neck and he feels Even pull away himself but Isak is aching for Even to touch him again - he can't remember the last time he's had someone hold him the way Even had. 

"That's okay, we can always make plans for tomorrow," Even laughs and Isak's heart soars with adoration for the boy he just kissed. Isak feels Even slip his hand and fingers into his own and he feels safe. Secure. Loved. Even lets out a happy sigh, looking down at Isak and he sees love deep in his eyes. "I haven't felt anything quiet like this. Ever."

Isak's lips quirk in the corner, "Neither have I."

Even places a kiss on his head, walking back over to the bench and picking a dandelion from the abundance on the ground and he tucks a piece of hair behind Isak's right ear before tucking in the dandelion, causing Isak to blush and shiver as he feels Even's fingers trace lightly on his cheek. Even ends up walking Isak home again, but this time hand in hand and as close as they can be with each other. They finally make it back to Isak's and he doesn't want to let go, so when Even attempts to pull away Isak frowns, "Stay?"

Even smiles sadly, "I can't, I'm sorry. My parents want me home tonight."

Isak lets out a sad sigh, but he nods, "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course," Even beams, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on Isak's cheek. "Good night."

"Good night," Isak feels his stomach flutter as he unlocks the door and steps in, the smile still on his face. As he walks into the kitchen, he stops and he feels his breath catch in his throat. "Dad? What are you doing back so early?"

His dad gives him a serious look for a minute and Isak quickly reaches up to his ear, pulling out the dandelion and keeping it in his palm, "We sorted everything out with you mom earlier than expected so I thought I would just come back home. Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you for hours."

"Sorry, I was out-"

"Out with who?" His dad interjects, anger laced in his voice.

"Even."

"Even?"

"Yeah."

"He's back?" Isak nods. "Well, then, that's very nice. I'm glad you two got to see each other again."

Isak nods again, "Well, I'm just gonna go... in my room," he responds, quickly darting out of the kitchen and into the safety of his room. He unfolds his palm and reveals the dandelion and he carefully places it on his windowsill by his desk, admiring it for a couple seconds before walking into the bathroom to wash up for dinner. As he looks himself in the mirror while drying his hands, he notices how his eyes look more bright. How his cheeks look more in color and how he feels a lot more happier than he has been. He smiles to himself, reaching up a hand and his fingers ghost over his lips and he feels as though Even is still there. 

He heads back into the kitchen, helping himself with whatever is in the cabinets for dinner and goes to sit in his room, pulling out his phone and he brings up his texts with Even.

_Isak: I miss you already. :(_

_Even: I know, but we have tomorrow._

_Isak: Seems too far away._

_Even: Dream about me, and it won't seem like that._

_Isak: You're the man of my dreams. ❤️️_

_Even: I'm the man of your dreams? :D_

_Isak: Maybe. Just maybe._

_Even: ❤️️❤️️❤️️ Do you want to come over to my place tomorrow?_

_Isak: Sounds lovely. Tomorrow.❤️️ ___

__-_ _

__"My parents are home, by the way," Even announces as he and Isak walk with their hands together towards Even's place._ _

__Isak almost chokes, "They're home?!"_ _

__"Yeah, but don't worry. They really want to see you again."_ _

__"We don't even know if we're boyfriends yet," Isak mumbles and his cheeks flare up._ _

__"We can figure that out later," Even grins. "Just relax. They still love you."_ _

__Isak groans, his anxiety running high as he walks into Even's house with him, holding his hand as tight as he can but he's trying his best not to hurt him. His stomach is doing somersaults as they walk into the kitchen where Even's parents sit at the dining table, talking quietly and drinking tea. They look up as Even says 'halla' and they grin so wide, Isak feels as though their faces are in pain. It's been so long since he's seen his parents. His mom stands up first and confronts them, her eyes sparkling and Isak almost jumps as she pulls him into a gentle hug. He feels himself relax, smiling at Even's mother when she pulls away._ _

__"It's so nice to see you again, Isak. Even talks about you all the time. Never stopped talking about you since we moved."_ _

__

__"It's nice to see you again, too, Angie," Isak manages and his smile grows a bit._ _

__

__"Would you like to stay for lunch?" She offers, still smiling._ _

__

__"Uh, I was thinking of showing Isak my room if that's okay?" Even butts in, squeezing Isak's hand a little._ _

__

__"Sure, of course," she nods. "Just come down for anything, if you want a snack or something I'll be happy to make one for you!"_ _

__

__Even grins, "Thanks, mom. Let's go, Isak."_ _

__

__Isak follows Even up the stairs and down the hall to his room and once he walks in, he's starstruck. Movie posters everywhere, drawings and song lyrics plastered on the walls - even a pansexual pride flag hangs over his window. His eyes roam all around the room, taking everything in. A lot about him has changed in the few years he hasn't seen him. He lets go of Even's hand to go stand in front of his closet doors that hold dozens of drawings and he's just in awe, "You drew all these?"_ _

__

__"Yeah, do you like them?"_ _

__

__"I love them. They're so cool. So... you," Isak grins, turning his head to look at Even who's standing next to him. "And all these movie posters. Romeo and Juliet? Really?" Isak laughs playfully._ _

__

__"Have you never seen it?" Isak shakes his head, shrugging. "We're going to watch it together sometime, you're going to love it. I cried when I watched it the first couple times, so I'm just warning that you might too."_ _

__

__Isak grins, shaking his head, "I doubt that."_ _

__

__Even laughs, "Mhm. Anyway, what do you want to do?"_ _

__

__"I've never been to your house, Even. You have to give me ideas on what to do," Isak shrugs._ _

__

__"There's an old swing set in the backyard, if you wanna go out there?"_ _

__

__Isak shakes his head, "I don't want to go outside. I just wanna stay in here with you. Can we do that?"_ _

__

__Even nods, "We can do that."_ _

__

__Isak smiles softly as Even lies himself on his bed, and Isak lies down too but his feet dangle off the edge of the bed while Even's are at the head of the bed. He turns his head to the side and catches Even's gaze and he smiles, leaning forward to place a small kiss on Even's lips. His eyelids flutter a bit he leans in for another, the taste of Even sending shivers down his spine. He pulls away, a small smile playing on his lips and he lifts up a hand, running his fingers through Even's hair and he feels him shiver under his touch, "Is this okay?"_ _

__

__"It's okay, yeah," Even grins. "Hold on."_ _

__

__Isak pulls his hand away as he re-situates himself on the bed, both of their feet dangling off the end of the bed and Isak shuffles in closer, rolling on his stomach and tucking himself into Even's side, breathing in the scent of him. He lets out a soft, happy sigh as he feels Even start running his fingers through Isak's hair instead and he feels calm, relaxed and he hasn't felt like this in years - ever since his dad left his mom._ _

__

__"What are you thinking about?" Even asks quietly._ _

__

__"A lot of things."_ _

__

__"Like what?"_ _

__

__"My dad leaving my mom - I know it happened so long ago, but... I don't know," Isak admits, his eyes drooping a bit as he begins to feel a bit tired._ _

__

__"It's okay to feel sad, Isak," Even offers._ _

__

__"I'm not sad. It kind of makes me mad. I don't remember the last time I ever hugged my mom. Gave her a kiss. Smiled at her."_ _

__

__"Why can't you just visit?"_ _

__

__"Because I feel like my life would be better without her," Isak sighs._ _

__

__"She's your mom, Isak. You can't go without her forever."_ _

__

__"I know that, I just- I don't know, Even. I don't even think she ever loved me. I don't even think my dad loves me."_ _

__

__"They love you with everything they have. You have a lot of people who love you."_ _

__

__"Who? Who really loves me?"_ _

__

__"Me, Isak. I do."_ _

__

__Isak's heart flutters as he tilts his head to look up at Even, "You do?"_ _

__

__Even smiles, "Isak, of course I love you. I've loved you since we were kids, I just love you a lot differently now."_ _

__

__"I think I might be in love with you," Isak admits._ _

__

__"Does this mean there is love in that tiny, grumpy teenage body of yours?"_ _

__

__Isak nudges Even's side a bit while he laughs, "I have a lot of love inside me. I'm just sometimes afraid on what I use that love for. It's a long story. Boy too scared to show compassion, blah blah blah."_ _

__

__Even chuckles, "Blah blah blah, good story."_ _

__

__Isak lets out a laugh, "I really think I'm in love with you."_ _

__

__"Really?"_ _

__

__"Really."_ _

__

__Even's lip twitches upwards in the corner as he leans down his head, kissing Isak on his cheek and then his lips._ _

__

__"I think I have to go soon," Isak sighs, pulling his phone from his pocket and checking the time. "My dad will probably want me home at a reasonable time and not with a dandelion in my hair."_ _

__

__"I don't want you to go," Even pouts as Isak steadies himself on his elbows, hovering above him._ _

__

__"I know, but I have to. Like you said, we always have tomorrow," Isak grins, kissing Even lovingly and longer than expected. He pulls away, getting up from the bed and Even follows him down the stairs to the hallway and he watches as Isak slips on his shoes, his hand already on the door knob._ _

__

__"Tomorrow?"_ _

__

__"Tomorrow."_ _

__

__And with that, Isak heads out the door and towards home feeling happier than he has been in years._ _

__

__-_ _

__

__"Have you been seeing Even the whole time I've been away?" His dad asks as they sit at the small kitchen table eating dinner._ _

__

__"Yeah, he got back the day school let out. I didn't see him until I was at, um..." Isak tails, trying to think of an excuse. "I didn't see him until I was walking home. He was at a tram stop in town."_ _

__

__His dad raises an eyebrow but shrugs, "Okay, that's fine. It's just that... I've been worrying about you, Isak. You've never had a girlfriend. But just know, if you have anything to tell me, you can. Okay?"_ _

__

__Isak's heart stops for a minute as he realizes what his dad is hinting at, "I know, dad. I'll tell you whatever I think you need to know."_ _

__

__His dad nods, filling the awkward silence as Isak gets up to wash off his plate and set it in the sink, heading off to his room._ _

__

__"Isak?"_ _

__

__Isak sighs, turning around to face his dad, "What?"_ _

__

__"Just be careful what you share with mom, okay? You probably share more with her than with me, but that's okay. Just know I'm here whenever you need."_ _

__

__"Yeah, thanks dad," he replies, turning back to his room and shutting the door. He takes out his phone, checking his notifications but finds nothing, not even from Even. He frowns, lying back on his bed and he finds himself drifting off to sleep in a few minutes, his busy day finally catching up to his body._ _

__

__-_ _

__

__When Isak wakes up, he finds that it's quite early in the morning. Nine a.m. Isak isn't used to ever waking up this early unless it was during school, but he wakes up way earlier than this for school. He takes his phone off his pillow and opens his texts, finding a few from Jonas and the other boys but the only one he cares about is one from Even. He opens it quickly, reading it over._ _

__

___Even: I miss you, but we can't hang out today. Something came up with my mom and she's in the hospital right now but we don't know what exactly happened with her. I'll try and respond to your texts when I can. I love you. ❤️️ ____ _

__

_____Isak: I'm so sorry, I hope your mom will be okay. Please feel free to take as much time away as you need, just know I'll be here for you whenever you need me. Take care of yourself and send my best wishes to your mom. I love you, too. ❤️️❤️️ ____ _ _ _

__

______Isak doesn't get a response back, but all he can think about is how Even is handling this physically. He adores his mom, and Isak knows that this must be hard for him. Isak manages to get out of bed and grab a quick breakfast, his dad still in bed. He doesn't get his hopes up to get a response back from Even, so he just distracts himself with scrolling through social media and responding back to Jonas and Mahdi, talking about Jonas' cabin trip and Mahdi 'totally hot girlfriend' he banged the other night. He finds it easy to cope with and it keeps him busy, but his mind is still running with how Even is. He's worrying about him, and he has every right to be. He just hopes this situation doesn't get worse than it already is._ _ _ _ _ _

__


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, my apologies. Only 2.4K words exact but event wise there's a lot. I haven't had as much motivation to write lately, but I figured I'd post what I have written for this chapter even though it isn't much. Enjoy.

_Isak: Anything new about how your mom is doing?_

_Even: My mom said she apparently felt a lump on her breast so now they're scouting out for a chance of breast cancer._

_Isak: I hope she'll be okay, and I really hope that's not the case. Love you ❤️️_

_Even: ❤️️❤️️❤️️ Are you feeling up for coffee? I could really use a getaway right now._

_Isak: Of course. Kaffebrenneriet in ten?_

_Even: Yes. See you there. ___

__Isak hurries to throw on a jacket, the chilled-winds already taking affect and proving that fall and the new school year is just around the corner. His breath creates small, white clouds once he's outside and he hurries into town. Once he arrives at the coffee shop, he walks in and embraces the warmth and the welcoming smell of coffee and freshly baked treats. He quickly finds himself a seat at a table by the window and he sees Even coming down the street and Isak can feel a sensation bloom in his chest as he walks in, immediately spotting him and joining him at the table._ _

__"Hi," Isak says, a small smile on his face._ _

__"Hey," Even replies, quiet._ _

__"I'll pay for the coffee. Just regular black, like always?" Even manages a smile, nodding as a yes. "Okay, I'll be back." Isak sits back down at the table in a short minute as they drink their coffee in silence, Even gazing out the window and Isak training his eyes on the cup in his hands._ _

__"She does have breast cancer, Isak," Even says after a few moments of silence, not taking his gaze away from the window._ _

__"I'm... I'm sorry, Even," Isak manages, picking up his eyes to look at Even across from him._ _

__Even shrugs, "She's going to go through with the chemo and such. She's just... in a lot of pain right now."_ _

__"It's going to be tough for you, I know it is. Just know that I'm here for you," Isak reaches his hand across the table, palm up and hopes Even will take it. He smiles softly when he does, giving it a small squeeze and Even tries his best to return the smile, but Isak can see the pain deep in his eyes._ _

__"I'm glad I have you, and I'm just going to say this now. I'm sorry if I drift away from you. I won't be in the best shape at times, and I'm saying this so I don't hurt you-"_ _

__"You're not going to hurt me. I'll always be here for you. No matter what."_ _

__Even sighs, "Thank you."_ _

__"Anything for you," Isak replies, rubbing his thumb across the back of Even's hand and they finish their coffee in silence. They throw away their cups and walk back out, the air a bit chillier than it was earlier so Isak puts his free hand in his jacket pocket as the other one grips to Even's free hand. "How about a walk?"_ _

__-_ _

__They walk for what seems like miles but really they just make their way to a small park, which really looks more like a garden and they find an empty bench, sitting together, Isak leaning his head on Even's shoulder and he can feel how tense his muscles are, "Isak?"_ _

__"Hm?"_ _

__"I'm not going to Nissen this school year, I'm going to Bakka. It's closer to home, and I don't think I can deal with being away from my mom right now when she needs it the most. Plus, there's no one willing to take in an extra roommate."_ _

__"But you said...?" Isak trails off, a pit of sadness in his stomach._ _

__"I know what I said, but... things have changed."_ _

__"It's so far away, Even, how can we be together if you're all the way there at home?"_ _

__"Isak... don't make this harder than it is," Even lets out a shaky breath and Isak lifts his head from his shoulder, eyebrows knitted together in confusion._ _

__"We start school in a week, Even. And if this is going where I think it's going, I don't want to deal with it."_ _

__"Isak, please listen. I just think... we need a break for a while, yeah? So I can take care of my mom. My dad has work out of town sometimes so I need to be there for her. It's just a break."_ _

__Isak lets out an angered huff, getting up from the warmth of Even's side and off the bench, shoving his hands angrily in his pockets, "So you just switch schools? Just like that? And you decide to tell me now?"_ _

__"Baby, come on-"_ _

__"No. No. Don't 'baby' me. We're on a break, yeah? Well, fine. Don't call me baby. Don't text me baby. If you don't feel up to it, don't text me either. Just... enjoy your break away from me. Give your mom my best wishes for her."_ _

__As Isak heads away from the park, he hears Even call for him but the more distant he walks, he knows Even isn't following him which hurts him the most. Tears prick his eyes as he continues on his walk home, his heart aching and his head a mess of so many thoughts. He arrives home, shutting the door with so much aggression he almost breaks the frame. His father hears him and calls out for him in the living room, but Isak's face is bright red and his eyes are sparkling with fresh tears. He ignores him and enters his room, shutting and locking the door behind him and he hears his dad knocking, asking him for come out and explain what happened but Isak feels like his mind is constantly screaming._ _

__He stays up late that night, not even bothering to change out of his jeans. He eventually shuffles out into the kitchen to grab something to eat but he comes up short when his dad is sitting at the table, looking at him._ _

__"Isak, can we talk?" Isak rolls his eyes, taking the seat across from his dad at the table, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms. "Are you... okay?"_ _

__"Yeah, I'm fine," Isak lies, shrugging._ _

__"Isak. Stop. I'm tired of you not talking to me, and I'm tired of you lying to me. You need to start talking to me!"_ _

__"Dad, there's nothing you need to know about me!"_ _

__"Oh, Isak, there's so much I don't know about you anymore. You used to come to me about everything-"_ _

__"Yeah but you left mom to fend for herself because you're a coward," Isak bites back, anger lingering in his voice._ _

__"I had my many reasons," his dad says calmly. "Can you please just tell me what you're thinking?"_ _

__"Dad! I've been dating a boy almost all summer! I'm gay! And now he wants nothing to do with me! I've been smoking weed with Jonas and the guys! I got drunk at a party! Is this what you all wanted to know about me? Everything?" Isak fires, getting up from his chair and leaning on the table._ _

__"Isak... this is too complicated to figure out right now," his dad replies, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I can't accept everything all at once-"_ _

__"Accept what? Who I am? Oh, well, that's okay. You never accepted who mom was, either."_ _

__"Isak-"_ _

__"No, dad. It's fine. It's okay. Text me whenever you figure me out. I'm 16, I hope you figure it out soon," and with that, Isak hurries to his room and grabs his phone, a small bag and stuffs it with extra clothes. He finds two beers he had stowed away under his bed and stuffs those into his bag, too. He manages to fit his laptop in behind all his clothes, and his dad doesn't bother to say anything as Isak slips on his shoes and heads out the door. It's late, but Isak couldn't really give two fucks right now. He hurries into town, lazily downing the beers and throwing them in the grass on the side of the sidewalk and despite it only being two beers, he's buzzed. He wanders his way through the streets which are mostly empty and keeps his eyes on his feet the whole time._ _

__He walks for what seems like hours, and he's tired and the beer is still kicking his ass. He almost falls backwards on the sidewalk when he bumps into someone, and he tries to speak but his words are slurred, "Hey, watch where the fuck you're going, buddy."_ _

__"Hey, are you feeling okay?" The guy asks, placing his hands on either side of Isak's shoulders and he tries to break away but he can't find the strength._ _

__"I'm fucking fine, now let me go-"_ _

__"You're drunk. My names Eskild, do you have anywhere to go tonight?"_ _

__"I'm not going back to my shit dad if that's what you're wondering," Isak slurs, drunkenly giggling._ _

__"I have an extra room at my flat. Do you want to crash there tonight?"_ _

__"If it's my only option," Isak replies, almost losing his balance but the guy named Eskild keeps his grip on tight._ _

__"Okay, let's go. It's not too far away from here," Eskild says, placing one hand on Isak's back and the other on his shoulder, guiding him through the night streets of Oslo. Isak stays quiet as he fights his way up the stairs and Eskild opens the door, dragging Isak in and leading him to the extra room. It already has a bed, which Isak is grateful for, and Eskild gently lies him on the mattress. Within seconds, Isak is passed out, his bag lazily thrown askew across the room._ _

__-_ _

__Isak rolls around in bed when he wakes in the morning, his head screaming and his eyes squinting, trying to block out the bright light of the room. His mouth is parched and when he rolls over, he finds a glass of water and a piece of toast. He gulps down the water and takes small bites of the food, looking around his surroundings. He's hungover, but he can remember the events of last night. He hears noise coming from the outside of the room and he gets up slowly, shuffling into the hallway and into the kitchen where the windows are open and the sunshine is skimming through and Isak feels like he's in completely hell._ _

__"Well, good morning! Sleep well?" He recognizes the voice. Eskild._ _

__"Oh, uh... yeah, sure I guess. Um, where's your restroom?"_ _

__"Just on the left of that hallway right there. Feel free to take a shower and use any of the products," Eskild says, smiling at Isak and Isak turns, his face reading a questionable expression as he enters the bathroom and he quickly starts the shower. He runs back into the room he used, grabs a change of clothes and finds a towel already laid out for him on the bed and he grabs that, too. He undresses and climbs into the shower, the warmth of the water comforting him, causing his whole body to seemingly droop. He washes up quickly, freely using the body wash and shampoos and dries off once he's done, changing into his extra clothes and heads back out into the kitchen._ _

__"Find everything alright?" A girls voice. He finds the girl standing by the counter eating a bowl of cereal._ _

__"Yeah, thanks..."_ _

__"It's no problem. Like I said last night, I'm Eskild. That's Linn over there. She's quiet most of the time, so you can just ignore her."_ _

__"Eskild! I'm not that quiet," Linn scoffs, finishing up her cereal and setting the bowl in the sink._ _

__"You're like a mouse, don't deny it. Anyway, since you were too inaudible last night I might as well ask now. What's your name, baby Jesus?"_ _

__"Isak- wait, baby Jesus?"_ _

__"Ah, Isak. Cute name. Oh, and baby Jesus was my code name for you when Linn found you since you were wearing a Jesus shirt," Eskild grins, playing with the black satin ribbon on his royal blue robe._ _

__"Okay... um, I should probably go," Isak says, crossing his arms._ _

__"Do you have anywhere else to stay?"_ _

__"I have friends-"_ _

__"But do they want to keep you the whole school year?"_ _

__"Who said I'm staying with friends the whole school year?"_ _

__"Isak, you said you didn't want to go back with your dad. I can analyze pretty quick. You're welcome to stay in the extra room, just find a way to pitch in to pay rent and it's all good."_ _

__"You would let me stay?"_ _

__"Of course, baby Jesus! You're welcome to stay, isn't that right, Linn?"_ _

__Linn nods, "It'd be nice to have three people in a flat as big as this one."_ _

__"Okay... well, cool. I start school next week at Nissen so I won't be in your hair as much," Isak tells them, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "I'll contact my dad from time to time and ask for rent money, so that shouldn't be a problem."_ _

__"You're going to ask your 'shit dad' for rent money?" Eskild guffaws._ _

__"He'll give it to me, don't worry," Isak reassures, smirking._ _

__"Well, okay. If that works for you," Eskild shrugs. "If you have a phone or laptop, the wifi password is 'powerbottom'."_ _

__"Powerbottom?" Isak asks, making a slightly-disgusted face._ _

__"Don't ask, I set up the wifi myself," Eskild winks as Isak walks back into his small room and he just sits on the bed for a while. He pulls out his phone to check his notifications but he finds nothing. Not even from Even. He shouldn't give a shit if Even texts him or not, since they're on break, but Isak knows it's going to be another long school year without him and he feels like he's repeating a history full of sadness and loneliness. At first he had thought that Even coming back into his life was for the good part, but now it seems like since he came back he's for both the good and the bad. All Isak can think about is how big of a loser he is, thinking he can fall for his best friend and the feelings being mutual and them being together forever. Isak just thinks about how much bogus falling in love is and how painful._ _

__He really should have known better than to do this._ _


	7. Ch. 7

As Isak lies wide awake in his new bed, he finds his thoughts drifting to Even who is the last person he wishes to think about right now. He can't find the will to sleep, so he pulls out his phone and scrolls through Instagram for a while but finds nothing interesting or new. He groans, setting the phone back on the charger and he just lies on his back, staring at the ceiling. He knows blowing up in Even's face like that about transferring and wanting to be closer to his mom was selfish, but he can't bring himself to send an apology and he can't quite figure out why. 

He knows he should, but he just doesn't know when the right time should be. Even is hurting, and quite frankly Isak is hurting deep down because he knows he might be the cause for some of Even's pain. He knows he'll have to send the apology sooner or later, for the fear that Even might hate him to the ends of the Earth and surprisingly Isak doesn't want Even to hate him at all even though he has his reasons as to why he might. He rolls onto his side, facing towards the window and lets out a sigh of regret. All he can feel since he stormed away from Even is guilt, and it's making him worry.

He manages to drift asleep by staring out his window at the few stars that remain, just a few hours shy of the sun rising to signal that it's already morning, and he somehow finds himself in the thread of thinking about school and becoming a second year, and how it's going to be like repeating all of middle school over again because Even won't be there by his side. 

-

"Do you need school supplies, Isak?" Eskild asks as he sips at tea in his hand, Isak stirring milk and some sugar in his coffee.

He shrugs, "Maybe just a few notebooks and a pencil or two, nothing major."

"I can lend some to you if you'd like? I have plenty of notebooks, I like to keep things organized. You're welcome to help yourself and grab some when school starts tomorrow."

"Thanks, Eskild," Isak yawns, taking a long drink of his coffee even though it's still piping hot. 

Eskild sighs, "You do have friends, right, Isak?"

Isak scoffs, "Of course I have friends. I don't have the majority of the school as my friends, but I have a decent sized group of friends."

"Well, just know, if they can't be there for you sometimes, I am. Think of me as your... guru, hm?"

"My guru?" Isak chuckles.

"Yes! Whenever you need advice, come to me, because that's what guru's are for. You know, like relationship advice or maybe school work. Or maybe even fashion device! I think that's really my major thing when it comes to guru-ing," Eskild laughs, shrugging. "But who knows, I could be a guru in many topics.

"Thanks. I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Isak turns, taking his coffee and he heads into his room, shutting the door tightly behind him and he sits himself on his bed, phone in his hand as he scrolls through his notifications. Only one text from Jonas asking if he wants to come over, which he denies, excusing that he's busy but really he can't find the strength to be around anyone. Isak sighs, finishing up his coffee. He knows school tomorrow is going to be hell, but he'll have to pull through it. Like always.

-

"Fuck, dudes. We're first years now," Mahdi exasperates as the guys walk through the school yard, the soft crunching of fallen leaves under their shoves filling the silence. "Can you fucking believe it?"

"I know. I'll have to get a better social life..." Magnus jokes and the boys laugh around him, shaking their heads.

"No fucking way you're going to get a better social life, Mags," Jonas counters, grinning.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Magnus questions. "Fy faen! Do you guys think I have no social skills? I have some friends out side of this group, you know!"

The guys laugh again, and this time Isak pipes up into the conversation, "Dude, we're the only friends you got. Don't deny that shit, either."

"And for once, Isak Valtersen isn't wrong," Mahdi jokes which earns him a shove from Isak.

"I'm always right, what the hell are you talking about?" Isak exclaims, crossing his arms just as the first bell rings out across the school yard signalling the start of the school day and they all groan.

"I guess I'll see you guys at lunch or something. Good luck, you're going to need it" Isak says as they all head into the school, and Isak can feel the pit of sadness fill his stomach again but he ignores it for the most part during the day, not letting the looming feeling of Even not being there with him fill his thoughts.

-

As Isak and the guys find a table in the cafeteria, they start firing out girls names from every year they think are hot, good looking, and fuckable. Isak drowns them out, picking at his sandwich as the guys around him chatter on about cute girls. He lets out a tired sigh, the small pieces of bread accumulating on the napkin. 

"Okay, but guys. Did you see that cute second year dude? His name is, like, Julian Dahl or something like that?" Magnus says, which instantly catches Isak's attention and he quickly raises his head, listening to Magnus talk about him. 

"Yeah, isn't he already planning to throw a back-to-school bash or something at his house?" Jonas adds, raising an eyebrow. 

"I think he is, I heard him talking about it and mentioned that anyone can come, invited or not," Magnus grins. "It's happening on Friday. Should we go?"

"Since when are you interested into cute guys and parties?" Mahdi asks and Magnus just shrugs.

"What's wrong with liking cute guys and parties?"

"Well... nothing, but, like, are you bisexual or something?" Mahdi questions again. "I don't really care if you are. You just seem to talk about cute guys more than girls."

"That's not true! There's a first year, her name is Vilde. Smoking hot. Would totally bang that."

"Okay," Mahdi responds, not pushing on the topic any longer. "Is that Julian Dahl?" 

Mahdi gestures to a guy standing over by the window and Isak follows his gaze, catching his eyes on the boy. Isak is in awe, flicking his eyes up and down his body and he licks his lips, mesmerized. He feels a kick on his foot which snaps him back into reality and he finds the guys staring at him with questionable looks. Isak shrugs, feeling an instant blush on his cheeks, "What?"

"Were you checking him out?" Jonas asks, a knowing smile on his lips.

"I- no? Well... maybe?" Isak stutters a bit, trying to catch up with his words. "I just... I'm with Mags when it comes to going to his party, what about you guys?"

Jonas and Mahdi shrug, "Sure, we'll go."

With that, the bell rings and they head off to their separate classes, throwing their barely eating food away in the trash bins and Isak glances back to the window to look for Julian, and when he finally catches sight of him he finds that Julian is gazing at him, too, with a playful smirk on his face. He blushes, averting his eyes as he rushes out of the cafeteria and to his next class. Friday couldn't come soon enough.

-

Just as Isak wished, Friday came by in a flash and now he sits at Jonas', having a pregame with the boys and going slow on his first beer because he knows he shouldn't rush through drinking. Not tonight. They finish up the pregame, taking extra beer and heading towards the party and before they are even near the lawn, they can hear the pounding music coming from the house. They grin, hurrying up to the steps and welcoming themselves right in. Isak finds a few familiar faces, but not any he should be worried about. He hopes to God Even won't show up, and as he continues scouting out the place he finds Julian near the kitchen.

Isak excuses himself from the group, yelling over the loud music he has to use the bathroom and despite the weird looks everyone gives him, he heads off anyway. As he gets closer to Julian, he pretends to trip and somehow, a blush rises in his cheeks and he's grateful he can pull it off. Julian slightly catches him and his eyes are bright, and Isak almost catches himself getting lost in them. He straightens himself, letting out a drunken giggle and Julian grins at him.

"You okay?" He asks, setting his beer on the counter behind him and using both his hands to steady Isak which sends shock waves under his skin.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry. I tripped," Isak grins. "I don't really know my way around this house quite yet."

Julian lets his hands drop from Isak's arms, but thankfully he continues on with the conversation, "Yeah. It's pretty big place."

"Great party, though! I just got here, but... it's cool," Isak laughs and he finds himself hyper aware of how close him and Julian are standing next to each other. Julian brushes his hand across Isak's waist, causing him to shudder and Julian smirks, his eyes filled with a look Isak doesn't recognize. 

"How about another beer, hm?" Julian asks, grabbing a can from the fridge quick and offering it to Isak, which he greatly takes, opening it and taking a few long drinks. He finds himself able to hold this second beer, which fills him with a surge of confidence. 

Isak loses track of time, and the music seems to get louder and louder and Isak finds himself getting drunker and drunker, not once leaving Julian and just as he finishes his fourth, he feels Julian grab his wrist, pulling him into the center of the room where everyone is dancing.

"Dance with me?" Julian yells over the music and Isak grins, finding himself sloppily dancing against Julian's body. His breath is coming out in short pants and he feels a weird sensation build up in his stomach and he knows by now he's half hard and he really doubts Julian is still soft by this point. Isak grinds onto Julian, and he hits a spot just right causing Julian to groan, biting his lower lip and Isak feels a surge of pride. 

Before Isak can stop himself, his leaning against Julian and whispering in his ear, "You look so hot like this," which causes Julian to whimper and Isak has never felt so much more pride causing a second year to whimper like he is. "Take me somewhere."

Julian obliges, grabbing onto Isak's hand and leading him to a bedroom upstairs which is thankfully empty. Isak finds himself underneath Julian in a heartbeat as he brings down his hips onto Isak, causing Isak to arch his back and let out a soft moan, the friction of their jeans just enough for Isak to let loose now. Isak feels Julian's hand snake up his sides, hiking up his shirt and he knows what he's doing and he quickly helps, pulling his shirt off above his head and tossing it to the side as Isak runs his fingers through Julian's hair, pulling him down for a heated kiss.

"Julian..." Isak breathes out as he feels his lips trail down his chest, to his stomach, to just above his jeans and he looks down, catching Julian's gaze and all of a sudden Isak's senses sharpen and his mind is spinning and he finds himself with one thing and one thing only in his mind.

Even. _Even. _Fuck.__

__He can't do this._ _

__Isak leans up on his elbows, quickly scooting away from Julian on the bed, "I'm- I'm sorry. I can't do this. This is too much." Isak rushes, his head in his hands._ _

__"Fucking first years," Julian grumbles. "If you didn't want anything to do with me, you shouldn't have bothered."_ _

__Isak stays still as he hears Julian leave the room, shutting the door behind him and leaving Isak with his face in his hands and he finds himself shaking. His whole body is trembling and he shuts his eyes tight, his anxiety like a whirlpool and this time he has no one to comfort him. He hasn't had an anxiety attack in years, and Even isn't here to hold him and probably never again will he hold Isak._ _

__Isak takes in deep, shaky breathes, trying to focus on his surroundings. He remembers what his mom used to tell him and Even would always mention it, too; focus on your senses. Things you can see, things you can hear, things you can touch, things you can taste. Focus. Just focus, and breath. Isak knows he's done a lot of stupid shit in his life, but this is one of his worst. He manages his to steady his breathing as he stands up from the bed, pulling his shirt back over his head and heading back downstairs._ _

__He doesn't bother finding the rest of the guys and he just heads back to his shared flat, and as soon as he gets there he ignores Eskild's questions and shuts himself in his room. Before he stops himself, he pulls out his phone, bringing up his messages with Even and decides it's now or never._ _

___Isak: I'm sorry about what I did a week ago. I didn't mean to get so angry like that, I was just confused. I know it was selfish of me to say things like that and I truly hope you can forgive me. Whenever you feel up to it, text me. Or call me, whichever. I just feel like I really needed to talk to you. Good luck with high school, if we don't see each other for a while. Good luck with your mom, I hope she gets better. I know how much she means to you. Anyway, I'm just really sorry. It's okay if you hate me or something, just know it wasn't my intention to hurt you. ____ _

____-_ _ _ _

____When Isak wakes in the morning, he immediately checks his phone. He doesn't find a text from Even, but instead from Jonas asking what happened to him last night. He reads through it and groans as Jonas tells him he knows he hooked up with Julian. Isak types a quick reply saying it wasn't a complete hook up and throws his phone to the end of his bed, draping his arm over his eyes. He lies awake in bed for a couple more minutes before quickly changing out of his jeans and pulling on sweats and heads into the kitchen where he finds a pot of freshly made coffee and he helps himself, adding in the usual milk and sugar but as he stirs, he finds Eskild staring at him which gives Isak a strange feeling._ _ _ _

____"Did I do something wrong?" Isak asks shyly, taking a sip of coffee._ _ _ _

____"Oh! No, no, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm just... curious about you," Eskild replies in a strange tone, a mysterious smile playing on his lips._ _ _ _

____"Curious about me? Why?"_ _ _ _

____Eskild sighs, "I know almost nothing about you and you've lived here for almost a week. I want to get to know you. Come, sit. Right here." He gestures to the seat across from him at the table and Isak wearily takes it, taking another sip of coffee as Eskild crosses his arms, staring at him._ _ _ _

____"So, should I just start with some basic questions?" Eskild asks._ _ _ _

____"Uh, sure," Isak shrugs._ _ _ _

____"Okay. First question - religion?"_ _ _ _

____"I come from a Christian background, I guess."_ _ _ _

____"Second question. Are your parents divorced?"_ _ _ _

____Isak sighs, nodding, "Yeah. My mom is, like, crazy in a way. My dad left her without any warning, so yeah."_ _ _ _

____Eskild nods, "Third question. Sexual orientation?"_ _ _ _

____Isak almost chokes on his coffee, "Wh-what?"_ _ _ _

____"Are you bisexual, pansexual, hetero, gay, what? It's just a question, I'm generally curious," Eskild shrugs. "I'm gay. See, I bet you didn't know but I told you."_ _ _ _

____"Well, I uh... I find attraction to guys but that doesn't necessarily make me gay. I had a thing with a guy, but... it just ended abruptly, so."_ _ _ _

____"Have you ever had a thing with girls?"_ _ _ _

____"No... not yet. It might happen, I don't know," Isak sighs, stirring his coffee absentmindedly_ _ _ _

____Eskild chuckles, "Okay, baby Jesus. One last question."_ _ _ _

____Isak shrugs, "Go ahead."_ _ _ _

____"Was the thing with the guy serious?"_ _ _ _

____"Well, I've known him since childhood. We grew up as best friends and then he had to leave all through middle school, and then one night I ran into him at a party and somehow we grew closer again. I didn't really mean to have feelings for him, since he was my best friend, but it just happened. Now I'm just not so sure what feelings I have for him right now. I wouldn't exactly call it love anymore, anyway. But, yeah. In a way it was serious."_ _ _ _

____"Did you just end this relationship?"_ _ _ _

____"It ended the night I left my dad. I was in rough shape."_ _ _ _

____"Yeah, I know. I remember. Why did it end?" Eskild ponders, tilting his head a bit as Isak speaks._ _ _ _

____"He was having a tough time... family stuff, and I got a bit selfish about all of it because he was moving closer to his mom but it was farther away from me and he was hinting towards us not being able to work, so he just said that maybe we needed a break and I took it a bit harsh."_ _ _ _

____"How harsh?"_ _ _ _

____"I just left. Told him off and left," Isak sighs, setting his coffee on the table. "I just sent him an apology text last night. The guilt has been eating away at me and I know now isn't the best time for him, he's going through some hard stuff."_ _ _ _

____"Where did you head off to last night before you came home? You seemed pretty upset."_ _ _ _

____"I just came back from a party. I... I almost hooked up with this guy, but all I could think about was Even. I know it's wrong, and I can't exactly think about why I was thinking about him, but... I just don't know. It's confusing shit."_ _ _ _

____Eskild nods understandingly, "I don't have anymore questions for you, I don't want to push on anything that might make you upset."_ _ _ _

____Isak smiles a little, "Thanks, I guess. When is rent due?"_ _ _ _

____"Uh, Isak. It was due yesterday," Eskild laughs._ _ _ _

____"Fuck, sorry-"_ _ _ _

____"It's no problem, it's only the first payment since you've been here. I expect you to pay the next one, though," Eskild winks and Isak nods._ _ _ _

____"I will. I have to go finish something for English Language, pizza for dinner again?"_ _ _ _

____Eskild nods, "Yes, but I promise we'll try to make you cooked meal while you're here."_ _ _ _

____Isak nods, getting up from the table and setting his empty mug in the sink and he heads into his room, pulling his English Language textbook and notebook from his backpack, and he begins taking the notes required for the next class. An hour goes by at max, and Isak's hand is cramping from writing so many notes. He groans, throwing down the pen along with his notebook on top of the textbook and he hears his notifications go off. He picks up his phone and his heart stops as he sees that the text is from Even._ _ _ _

_____Even: It's nothing to worry over, Isak. You were upset, I understand that. I'm not mad at you, nor did you make me sad. I just think this break could be good for the two of us for not only me taking care of my mom but you and I focusing on our studies. But thank you for the apology anyways. ____ _ _ _

______Isak smiles as he reads the message, a huge wave of relief washing over him and he feels like he can breath, no longer having such a burden and worry on his shoulders. He doesn't bother responding, but he finds the motivation in quickly finishing up his notes and tucking them away into his bag so he can relax. He lets out a sigh, flexing his hand muscles as he gets up from the bed and heads into the living room where he finds the box of pizza and Linn and Eskild watching a movie. He grabs his share quietly, sitting in an arm chair and just watches the movie with them, enjoying the feeling of relief that he hasn't felt in quite a long time._ _ _ _ _ _

______As the credits roll across the screen, Eskild turns to Isak with a stern look on his face "Isak, do you know how to cook?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Uh, no? Not really?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"You're, what? 17? 16?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"16, yeah."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"16 and you don't know how to cook?" Eskild laughs. "That's comical. Linn doesn't know, I don't know, and now you don't know. Amazing."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Isak shrugs, "I'm not one for knowing my way around a kitchen," Isak coughs, the air feeling a bit tense. "I bake?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Bake!" Eskild guffaws. "Right, and what do you bake?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Myself."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yourself?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes, myself."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Oh, great. We got a weed head in the house," Eskild groans. "I don't care if you smoke in the apartment, just have a window or something open."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Deal," Isak laughs, finishing his piece of pizza. "I'll do the dishes tonight. If I can do one thing, that's do the dishes."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eskild laughs along with Isak, "Sounds like a good plan, but I don't trust your 'always shaky' hands. Be careful not to drop anything, yeah?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yeah, yeah, whatever."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Isak takes his phone from the coffee table and puts it in his back pocket of his jeans, collecting Linn's plate and Eskild's and heads into the kitchen, filling the sink with warm, soapy water and he starts on washing them up. Midway, his phone buzzes so he quickly dries his hands, pulling his phone out and he sees another text from Even which makes him a bit confused._ _ _ _ _ _

_______Even: Do you think we can meet up somewhere tomorrow? Just so we can talk? ____ _ _ _ _ _

_________Isak: Sure, but I don't live at my dads right now. I'm in a shared apartment. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Even: Just tell me the address and I'll come get you, or we can plan on meeting up somewhere? ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Isak: Sounds good. Tomorrow. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________Even: Tomorrow. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Isak smiles a bit to himself, putting his phone on the counter and he continues with the dishes, finishing them up quickly and setting them in the strainer to dry. He heads back into the living room where Linn is hunting for another movie and Eskild is still on the couch and Isak clears his throat, which draws their attention._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Will you guys need me at all tomorrow?" Isak asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Um, no? I don't think so, why? Where are you heading?" Eskild responds, raising an eyebrow at Isak._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"I have to, uh... meet up with someone. It's pretty important."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Is it with so-and-so?" Eskild asks, his eyes full of curiosity and a knowing look and Isak nods which makes Eskild grin. "No! Absolutely not, we will not need you at all tomorrow. Have fun with so-and-so."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Isak sighs happily, nodding, "Okay, cool."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Isak's phone goes off again but this time it's a text from Jonas;_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Jonas: Hey, you doing anything tomorrow?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Isak: Yeah, I'm meeting up with someone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Jonas: It better not be Julian, he seemed pretty pissed at you during the party._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Isak: No, it's not Julian I swear. It's someone else, it's important._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Jonas: Is it a girl?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Isak: Nei, it's not._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Jonas: Well, okay then. Have fun I guess. See you Monday._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Isak: See you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone mentioned in the comments on the last update that Isak and Even needed a deep talk, which I was originally planning for in this chapter so here it is. Not all of it is deep talk, don't worry. And it's not too deep either. Warning: Mentions of food in this chapter, not major but it's there. Mainly in the parts where Noora comes in. Enjoy. <3

"So," Isak starts, the awkward feeling of Even sitting next to him making his body tense. "What did you want to talk about?"

"First, thank you for the apology. Second, I wanted to say sorry," Even admits, shrugging. "Just dumping all of that on you was a dick move and I could have put it in simpler terms, considering what we have-"

"What we had," Isak corrects bitterly.

Even sighs painfully. "Yeah. But, I know it hurt you. It hurt me to say it, and I'm sorry."

"There is no need for you to say sorry, Even. It's all your choices, you get to make them," Isak responds, leaning back on the bench overlooking the basketball court where they first kissed.

"I know. In a way, I feel like we're the directors of our own movies, you know?" Even chuckles heartlessly, so it really just sounds like he's sighing.

"I don't completely agree with you. If we were directors of our own movies, I don't think we would put in our script that we get cancer, or die unexpectedly in a car crash," Isak counters, finally averting his eyes to Even who is sitting on the opposite side of the bench.

Even manages a light smile, "I guess you're right, but it's an interesting thought. Like being alone with your thoughts, it's scary in a way."

"Scary?" Isak laughs halfheartedly. "In what way?"

"Not a scary movie type scared, a feeling of being alone kind of scared. We all are alone anyway, despite if you get married, have children."

"That's so messed up," Isak responds, shaking his head.

"Well, it's life. You haven't thought about death or anything?" Even questions, stuffing his hands into his coat pockets. Isak shakes his head as a 'no' in response, giving another shrug. "I forgot how young you are on the inside."

"We're practically the same age!" Isak exclaims, looking back at Even sharply.

"I'm one year older than you. I'm a second year at Elvebakken," Even laughs, fully this time and Isak rolls his eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips that he can't hold back.

"Yeah, whatever," Isak chuckles. "Can you believe I almost hooked up with a second year at his own party?" Isak admits and immediately wishes he could bite back the words. He clears his throat when Even doesn't respond and quickly changes the subject. "So, anything new with your mom?"

"She's still in pretty rough shape, but she's a fighter," the corner of Even's lips twitch upwards in a sad smile. "She'll pull through. She's already had one lump surgically removed, which went well. It just causes her a lot of pain, but the doctor says there is no new growth."

Isak nods in understanding, "I'm glad she's pulling through. She'll get through this, Even."

Even nods, glancing over at Isak, "I hope."

Another moment of silence.

"You'll pull through, too, you know?" Even says.

"Pull through what?" Isak asks, raising an eyebrow.

"That shit with your dad. I don't know what happened, but... you'll manage," 

"I had my reasons for leaving. I shouldn't say that, since that's what he said when he left mom, but... it's true. He just really pisses me off. I have better roommates anyway who have been helping me out," Isak tells him.

"Have you talked to him since you left?" Even ponders, but his voice is tender and careful.

"No," Isak huffs. "I asked him for rent money, he transferred it. That's about any interaction we've had."

"Just don't drag him through the dust, okay? He's your dad, Isak. He loves you."

"I know, but," Isak lets out a sigh. "It's just hard right now. I was angry with him and angry with myself... angry with you. I said some shit and he just couldn't 'accept it all at once' I suppose."

"So, like what happened with you when I told you I'm going to Elvebakken? You couldn't accept it all at once?"

Isak bites his lip, "Yeah."

Even sighs, "You know, you won't have to deal with me either. You'll be glad to have me out of your hair."

Isak lets out a weak laugh, "It'll be different, but I'll manage."

"You're relieved you don't have to deal with me."

"I never said that," Isak tells him, biting his cheek.

Even's smile is warm as he turns to Isak, his eyes seeming to smile as well, "It'll be different, and sad that we can't raise hell together in high school, but I'm sure we'll find a way to meet in the middle."

"Meet in the middle," Isak mumbles. "Yeah."

Even pulls out his phone from his pocket, checking the time and he lets out an annoyed sigh, "I have to head home. Thanks for agreeing to talk to me. I know it may be hard to meet up sometimes, but don't be afraid to ask if we can hang out. I'll find time for you."

Isak smiles, "Okay. Tell your mom I said hi, and that I hope she's doing better."

Even returns the smile, "I will. Bye, Isak."

Isak waves as Even turns to leave, already walking across the courtyard, "Bye."

-

As Isak unlocks the door to his flat and walks in, kicking off his shoes on the mat, he looks up and finds Eskild staring at him, grinning, his arms crossed, "Hi?"

"Halla! How'd it go with you-know-who?" Eskild asks, eagerness trailing in his words.

"Pretty good. We just talked for the most part," Isak shrugs, walking past Eskild and into the living room.

"No kissing? No making out?"

Isak feels heat rush to his cheeks, "Eskild, no! We're not even together anymore!"

"I've heard this story too many times and I know how it always ends. Couple breaks up, one of them leaves, but somehow they come back. Isn't that what happened to you before?"

"Yeah, but I doubt it's going to happen again," Isak grumbles. "Even if he did come back somehow, I wouldn't get back together with him again."

Eskild hums, nodding, "Okay, sure. Whatever you say baby Jesus."

"Could you maybe stop calling me that?" Isak asks, annoyed.

"What else do you want me to call you? Baby gay?"

Isak throws his hands up, heading for his room, "Sure!"

"Okay, baby gay!"

Isak slams his door shut, letting out a scoff as he sits himself on his bed, pulling his computer into his lap, starting on a biology assignment. As he starts typing, his finds himself glancing at his phone more and more, waiting for a text from Even. He mentally kicks himself, straining his focus on his writing but lets out a huff of defeat, quickly grabbing his phone and pulling up his contact with Even.

Isak: It was nice seeing you today, I guess I should have said that while we were at the basketball court. It was nice having that talk with you, too. If you ever wanna really know what happened between me and my dad, just ask. I'll tell you. You're still my best friend and you deserve to know. 

Isak sets down his phone carefully and slowly, only breaking his eyes from the black screen when it's finally set on his bed. He turns back to his computer screen and continues on his work, and he manages to finish without a reply from Even. He closes his laptop, setting it on the floor beside his bed and lies himself back, staring at the ceiling, phone on his chest. Isak watches the sky turn shades of pink and orange as the sunsets, and just as the stars appear his phone pings with a message.

Even: Mom and Dad weren't home, they said they're taking a trip to a cancer center and won't be back for a couple of days, possibly weeks so I couldn't tell my mother what you said. It was nice seeing you today too, Isak. I won't push about what happened, you don't deserve that. You can tell me when you're ready. Best friend. ❤️️

Isak smiles, not bothering to type a reply as he sets his phone back down, getting up from the bed to change into sweats and he crawls back into bed. He manages to drift off to sleep early, tucking the blankets up close around him.

-

After school Monday, Isak decides it's time he tells Jonas about who he is. His nerves are wired as Jonas agrees to get kebabs with him and they find a bench near a park and sit, eating in silence for a few minutes before Jonas breaks the silence himself.

"So, who did you talk with over the weekend?" Jonas asks, taking a bite of kebab off his fork.

"You remember Even, right?" Isak asks, finishing up his own bite of kebab.

"Oh, shit, yeah! Yeah, I remember him. Is he coming back and attending Hartvig Nissen with us?"

"No. He's going to Elvebakken. Family stuff," Isak replies.

"So that's who you talked with?" Jonas asks again, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah... its been pretty tough between him and I lately. We had this... thing," Isak admits, biting his lip.

"Thing?" Jonas questions, puzzled. "What kind of thing?"

"We got together over the summer."

"Like, as a couple? Boyfriends?"

"Yeah."

"What happened between the two of you, then?"

"Well," Isak sighs. "He was planning on attending Nissen this school year, but... something came up and he wanted to be close to home which is why he switched to Bakka. He decided to tell me all this a week prior to high school starting, I got pissed and all selfish-like, and he also said he wanted a break. So we took a break."

Jonas nods understandingly, "Are you going to keep in touch with him?"

"Yeah," Isak admits. "Him and I are still best friends."

"So... you like guys?" Jonas ponders, changing up the subject.

Isak laughs a bit, "Yeah. Does it weird you out?"

"No, I think it's chill. I always had my suspicions," Jonas chuckles, finishing up his kebab and Isak nudges his shoulder a bit.

"You did not. You had no idea!" Isak laughs, smiling a bit.

"Are you planning on telling Mahdi and Magnus?"

"I'm not sure yet. I know I'll tell them sooner or later, I just don't know when."

"I don't think they'd care much. It's important to tell them, though. They are your friends, too. You told me, they at least deserve to know," Jonas mentions, setting his fork into the empty kebab wrapper.

Isak sighs, "Yeah, yeah. I know. I'll tell them, alright? Chill." 

Jonas laughs, nodding, "Okay. Anyway, I have to head home. See you tomorrow?"

Isak nods, "Yeah, same. I have to head back before Eskild throws a fit. See you later."

-

"Isak, you're back! Look who came to visit!" Eskild shouts just as Isak walks through door and he quickly shuffles out of his shoes and into the kitchen.

"Noora! Wow, what a... surprise," Isak manages, smiling awkwardly.

"She didn't really stop by out of nowhere, I asked her to come over so she could cook a nice, homemade meal. Isn't that right?" Eskild says, smiling.

Noora laughs, nodding, "Yes. I'm just making chicken fajitas, is that okay with you?" She gestures to Isak, pausing the knife just above the skin of a green bell pepper.

"Uh, yeah. Sounds good with me," Isak replies, nodding. "How... how do you even know Noora, Eskild?"

"Supermarket. I was looking for something specific and couldn't name it, but I described it to her and helped me find it. Best friends ever since," Eskild beams. 

As Noora stirs the chicken with the chopped up peppers, she giggles, "You were looking for papaya, wasn't it?"

"Papaya, yes."

Isak smiles again, a bit confused, "Okay... well, I have some homework I need to work on. Call me in whenever dinner is done?"

Eskild nods, "Sure thing. Have fun baby-" Isak shoots him a serious look, gesturing to Noora with his eyes and Eskild stops himself short. "Baby... bro. Have fun, baby bro!"

Isak leaves the room, slightly agitated as he begins on his English Language essay. Just as he starts on his fourth paragraph, the smells of peppers drift into his room and instantly his mouth is watering despite the kebab he ate early. He types up the paragraph fairly quickly, not even reading it over and he heads back into the kitchen where Noora is busy assembling the tortillas with the filling. 

"Almost done, I'm bringing the tray into the living room. Eskild and Linn are already in there, so you can go ahead and just wait along with them," Noora offers a warm smile and Isak doesn't say anything, just offers a nod and heads into the living room as told. He finds his usual spot in a single seat across the coffee table and sits, waiting, as Eskild and Linn talk quietly. 

Noora walks in carefully, the tray being held in both her hands and she beams, setting it down on the coffee table and Eskild gasps, clapping his hands together, "Noora! This looks so good, you're a true chef."

"Thank you. I'll be back, I need to grab plates," she rushes out and within minutes she has just enough for everyone, passing them out, firstly to Isak and then to Linn and Eskild. "Shall we?"

Isak waits to grab his fajita once everyone else has and as soon as he takes a bite, the beautiful, juicy taste of the meat and peppers flows into his mouth accompanied by the soft tortilla. He sighs, finishing up and swallowing, "Noora, this is delicious."

"Yes, thank you for agreeing to cook for us tonight," Eskild adds.

"Why did you want me over to cook anyway? I had stuff to do at home, you know." Noora asks, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"I just thought Isak deserved a nice, home cooked meal due to the situation he's in right now. It was nice of you to oblige," Eskild answers.

"Oh! Well, that's different. I guess I would have come anyway," Noora's smile brightens as she looks at Isak.

"You go to Hartvig Nissen, right?" Isak asks, finishing up another bite.

"Yes. I've seen you around before. You're quiet."

Isak feels a light blush bloom on his cheeks, "Yeah, I've not one for really putting myself out there."

Noora shrugs, "All first years are like that, no worries."

They finish up the rest of the fajitas over small talk, laughing over stupid jokes and Isak zones out in the middle of it, eating slowly and quietly. Isak scrolls on his phone for a while, finding nothing new and he just absorbs himself in the food. He excuses himself once he's finished, excusing that he needs to finish his English Language essay and they allow him and he sighs in relief, shutting the door to his room and sitting on his bed, pulling the laptop back onto his lap. He stays awake for hours, straining to add in important details but he eventually can't keep his eyes open much longer. He heard Noora leave a while ago, so he finds himself stripping down into just his boxers and tucking himself under the blankets, falling into a deep sleep. 

-

"Did you finish the English Language assignment?" Eva asks him as him, Jonas and Eva stand by a window during lunch period.

"God, no," Isak admits, groaning. "I stayed up so late last night trying to finish it."

Eva laughs, "Same, it was pretty hard to translate some of the words so I left most of them in Norwegian with little notes on the sides explaining the situation."

Isak grins, "At least I won't be the only one who doesn't have it done."

"You guys are slackers," Jonas butts in, chuckling.

"Talk about you slacking!" Eva grins, nudging her boyfriend. "You complained about not finishing an assignment because you came over to my place and we made out the whole time!" Isak clears his throat, feeling a bit awkward in the situation. "Sorry, Isak. But it's true!"

Jonas laughs, "I also said sorry for that."

Eva hums a response as the bell rings out through the halls, "Well, Isak. Let's go get our asses chewed for not finishing. Call me later, Jonas?"

Jonas leans down, placing a kiss on Eva's cheek, "I will. Have fun, you two."

As Jonas walks the opposite direction, Eva and Isak hike up the stairs together, "This going to be tough."

"High school is tough," Isak says. "Gotta deal with it." _Deal with it without Even, _Isak thinks.__

__"Wow, well said. You're a true wordsman," Eva smiles, looking down at her feet as they walk up the stairs, matching her steps with Isak's._ _

__"I know, right? Maybe I'll just turn in what I have for my essay and get a six since I'm such a wordsman," Isak laughs._ _

__"I would really doubt the teacher would be kind enough to do that," Eva shrugs. "But you never know, right?"_ _

__"No, you're right. She's way too much of a bitch."_ _

__They laugh as they reach the classroom, Isak holding open the door carefully for Eva who jokingly droops into a curtsy as she walks in, Isak following in behind her._ _


	9. Ch. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's quite a few parallels in this chapter from season 3 and quite a big one towards the end (please tell me if you think it was too fast towards the end, but I thought the parallel fit perfect considering the prior events. There's a time jump in this chapter (Isak is now a third year) so don't freak out. Warnings: Finally the eventual smut tag comes into play, but I don't think it's too graphic? Ah, oh well. Enjoy <3 Please leave me feedback!! Criticism, compliments, anything!

As Isak sits in the bathtub surrounded by the boy squad, he laughs as Jonas says something completely ridiculous as he takes a long drag from the home-made bong. They've been passing it around for what seems like hours since this party has started, but they're having just as good as a time as people are on the other side of the walls. And somehow, like always, they get into the topic of girls which bores Isak to death. Especially since he hasn't told Mahdi or Magnus yet.

"Emilia, is that her name? Fuck, I don't know, but she's hot," Mahdi says, passing the lighter and bong onto Isak who graciously takes it, lighting it up quickly and taking a drag.

"She's not that good looking," Isak butts in, passing it over to Jonas this time.

"Isak, your tastes in girls suck. You should have low standards considering how ugly you are," Mahdi laughs, leaning his head back on the tiles of the bathroom. Isak pretends to be offended, but just shrugs him off.

"There has to be some other hot chicks," Jonas groans.

"Ah! There's one, there's one... listen. She's, like, a first year. Short, brown hair. Brown, hazel eyes or something like that?" Isak interjects, glancing to the boys on both sides of him.

"Yeah, she's cute I guess," Magnus pipes up. "But you have zero chance with her. Her last boyfriend was like this 20-year old supermodel dude."

Isak shrugs, "I have my ways."

Suddenly the bathroom door flies open, "What's happening, could you close the door?" Jonas yells over the loud music, staring at the girl who's standing with the door wide open.

"I have to use the toilet," the girl says, her words slightly slurred.

"Yeah, whatever, just close the door," Jonas sighs, leaning back on the tiles, relaxed, now that the door is closed. A few seconds later, another girl walks in, closing the door behind her.

"Hello? You can't just leave me out there with that nerd?" The girl says, and the boys take her in, eyeing Isak who rolls his eyes.

"I just had to pee."

"This party is so boring," the other girl says, beginning to dig through the drawers underneath the sink. "You remember those pills we smoked that one time, do you think these are it?"

The girl on the toilet quickly gets up, walking over to her and looking at the pill box she has in her hands, "No... I don't think those are it."

"But they were blue right?"

"No, I don't think those are it, Emma."

Emma. 

Magnus taps Isak on his shoulder, causing him to glance over and all he says is, "Good luck, Isak."

Isak smirks, looking back up at the girl named Emma and attempts to get her attention, "Do you know who you look like?"

Emma raises an eyebrow, looking down at Isak, "Uh, yeah?"

"That little boy? From Stranger Things?" The guys choke on laughter beside him, Jonas mumbling a 'dude' as he hides his face in his hands. "What? She's cute, if you're into ten year old boys." The guys double over with laughter as Isak keeps his eyes on Emma, her expression annoyed.

"Excuse me?" Emma asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I was just kidding, Emma. Don't take it to heart. And, just so you know, those are allergy pills. They'll make you tired," Isak laughs this time as Emma slams down the box, walking out with the girl beside her. They quickly storm out of the bathroom, and Isak shouts after them; "Nice meeting you!"

The guys finally collect themselves, gasping for breath, clutching their stomachs from the laughter, "You're a dick, dude."

"What? Nah. I was just making small talk, you know? I thought girls were into that sort of thing in the bathroom."

"Dude, someone has to take the stash," Mahdi says quickly, pulling out a small bag of the green from his jacket pocket, throwing it into Jonas' lap.

"I can't take it, hiding that shit makes me nervous," Jonas throws it back at him and it lands on his stomach.

"Hide it in the backyard or something, I don't want to stash it," Mahdi mumbles, holding it out for Jonas to take but he doesn't. Isak rolls his eyes, snatching the bag from Mahdi.

"I'll take it, Jesus Christ."

Mahdi snatches it back, "I don't think so, buddy. I barely know you."

"You sat here in a fucking bathtub with me smoking some weird shit Jonas got, of course you know me," Isak scoffs.

"Just let him take the stash. He's a good pal," Jonas steps in, looking down at Mahdi across from Isak.

"Fine, but if you lose it, you owe me a thousand kroner, buddy."

"Yeah, whatever," Isak takes the baggy from Mahdi again, shoving it in his pocket. "Thanks."

"At least that's fucking over. I'm fucking hungry, let's go see if there's food around here somewhere," Magnus gets up first, shuffling out of the bathroom and everyone follows behind him. Isak is down the stairs last, and he scans the party finding some unfamiliar faces. He makes his way to the front of the party where everyone is dancing, and instant panic fills his stomach as he sees the familiar uniforms of the police walking into the apartment and he remembers the weed he has in his pocket. His breath catches in his throat and he quickly makes his way past the officers and out of the apartment and away from the blaring music. There's officers waiting outside, so he cuts through the yard and through the bushes. He turns, beginning to walk away from the situation when he feels a tug on his jacket.

"Hey, where are you going?" Isak looks and sees a female officer glaring at him.

"Home...?" Isak says, acting a bit confused.

"Over the bushes?" She asks, skeptical. 

"Yeah."

"People are leaving through the gate over there?"

Isak shrugs, "I... just..."

"Do you have ID with you? Drivers license?"

"No."

"No? Well, what's your name?"

"Adrian Eksett," Isak lies, pulling his jacket sleeves over his hands.

"Adrian? Okay, how old are you?"

Isak hears a whistle and he finds Jonas in the middle of the street on a bike, waiting for him, "18?"

"Okay, just hold on- responding."

As the officer is distracted with the call, he bolts down the street to Jonas, quickly jumping on the back of the bike on the small, uncomfortable seat and he holds onto Jonas' shoulders tightly as Jonas kicks off his feet and starts pedaling. Isak is laughing the whole time as the bike wobbles a bit, but eventually Jonas finds his way to Isak's shared apartment, dropping him off and heading home himself. Isak sighs, slowly making his way to the flat and he walks in, finding it quiet as everyone is asleep. He slips off his shoes carefully, tip-toeing to his room and he removes his jeans once the door is shut behind him, and he crawls into bed, drifting off to sleep instantly.

-

"Do you still have my stash?" Mahdi asks as the guys walk down the hallway to the cafeteria.

"Yes, Mahdi, I've told you a hundred times already that I have it. It's at my place, tucked away safe and sound," Isak tells him, crossing his arms as he walks. 

"Good, I haven't lost faith in you. Yet," Mahdi chuckles and Jonas joins him in the laughter, Isak rolling his eyes. He picks up his gaze and looks down the hallway and he almost trips as he sees a familiar sight looking straight back at him. The guys give him a strange look, raising eyebrows. "Dude, you chill?"

"I- uh, I just remembered I have to do something for biology. I'll meet you guys later, go on ahead," Isak stutters, and the boys shrug giving their 'okays', continuing their trek to the cafeteria. Isak doesn't once take his eyes off the person he's staring at, and he turns and walks away as he begins walking towards him, quickly walking down the stairs but his heart stops as he feels a hand on his shoulder.

"Isak! I've been looking for you everywhere in this school," and Isak's heart aches at the voice. Not again.

"Even, what are you doing here?" Isak manages, and it comes out as a soft whisper.

"It's nice to see you, too. Anyway, my moms been doing much better. She's in the process of healing, and the doctors have said she has minimal trace of cancer right now so I found the courage and got a place in a shared apartment. Isn't it great?" Even beams, looking down at Isak, the dramatic change in height difference apparent to Isak.

"Well, I'm glad to hear about your mom. But why did you transfer here? It's a bit late, isn't it?" Isak bites his lip, crossing his arms again.

"Well, to be completely honest I'm repeating my third year. I did some stupid shit at Bakka, so I didn't really transfer. They kicked me out, so I enrolled here. And why does it matter? The school year didn't start that long ago?"

Isak shrugs, letting out a weak cough, "I don't know, it's just... strange."

"Are you not glad to see me?" Isak can hear the hurt in Even's voice and he quickly shakes his head, finally gathering the strength to look up at Even.

"No! I'm very glad to see you here. I mean, I have my best friend back," Isak manages a weak smile. "But, look, Even... some shit is hard to get over, and it's going to be hard to just go back in the normal routine of being best friends. We're just friends for now, okay?"

"Isak-"

"Look, I have to go. I'll see you whenever," Isak turns, walking down the next flight of stairs, despite the bell not having rung yet. He leans against the wall of lockers, holding his notebook and text book in his hands that he managed to fight out of his locker and waits for the bell to finally ring. He jumps when it does and he quickly rushes to his next class before the hallways fill with students. He sits in the desk in the far back, the sit next to him empty for now and he lets out a sigh. 

"Hi!" Isak looks up, a bit annoyed but he manages a smile once he sees who it is.

"Sana, hey," Isak straightens up, pushing his hood off his head.

"Did you finish the biology assignment?" Sana asks, pulling her notebook and textbook from her bag.

Isak groans, "No."

"Too busy partying this weekend?" Sana laughs jokingly.

"Yeah, actually. Way too caught up in shit this weekend. Oh well, I'll finish it tonight and turn it in tomorrow."

Sana nods, setting her laptop on her desk, quickly pulling up her document, "I suggest you get it done, and fast."

"Yeah, yeah," Isak laughs a bit. "I will. I'm just going through a lot in my head right now."

"Headache?"

"No, something way more complicated," Isak admits, sighing.

"You'll pull through," Sana offers a warm smile and Isak nods. He manages a thank you before the teacher walks in, telling the class to turn in their assignments to her email before she starts her lecture and Isak just hides away for most of class.

-

It's the end of the day, and Isak is struggling again to get his locker open. He groans as the familiar buzz fills his ears, telling him once again that the locker will not open. He bangs his hand on it a few times - it's a weak gesture, and does very little progress. He groans, rubbing his face with his hands, trying one last time to fight his locker open. He sighs with relief as it swings open and he quickly shoves his notebook into the tiny compartment, closing and locking it shut again. He slings his school bag over his shoulder and turns to walk out, but he almost falls backwards as he runs into someone.

"Could you please move- oh. Even," Isak huffs, feeling a bit annoyed.

"Hey, Isak," Even smiles, but Isak doesn't return it.

"Do you need something?"

"You know, you could stop being rude to me?" 

"Rude? How am I being rude?" Isak scoffs.

"You've pushed me away all day," Even reminds him.

"Because I had things to do! More important things!" 

"Right... well, I'm gonna just ask anyway. Do you want to come over to my place? Hang out?"

"Even-"

"Isak, please."

"I can't. It's Friday, I have a pregame with the guys."

"Can't it wait?"

"I have to bring the beer," Isak counters, praying that Even will just drop the subject and let him go home.

"I'll buy you beer," Even rushes. "Just please? I just want to talk with you. We're still friends, aren't we?"

Isak groans, "Fine. But after this, will you get off my back?"

"Deal."

They walk to the tram in silence, getting on quickly, both standing and gripping the same rail. Isak's whole body is tense as the tram comes to sudden stops, hoping he can have one good day and not have the cliche of falling into Even's arms even though he wouldn't mind it. He keeps his eyes averted downward, looking down at his feet but he feels as though Even's blue eyes are piercing him the whole ride. They finally come to the final stop where Even gets off and they get off together, stopping buy a local shop where Even walks in to get the beer. 

As Isak waits outside, he shifts his weight from one foot to the other every few minutes getting impatient. Even finally walks out, and Isak feels relieved but he comes up short when he finds Even not holding anything in his hands. Even shrugs, "Sorry. I forgot my ID at home. Join me?" Even continues walking down the sidewalk, not waiting for Isak respond but Isak doesn't waste a minute and he quickly follows him down the street.

"Hello?" Even calls out once they enter the apartment but he gets no response. He grins, shuffling out of his shoes and Isak does the same, closing the door behind him as he does so. He follows Even into the living room where he begins searching for the ID. Isak looks around awkwardly, but what draws his attention the most is the scraps of paper taped onto the closet. As he looks closer, he finds them riddled with drawings. 

"Did you draw these?" Isak asks, not tearing his eyes away from the artwork.

"I did. Do you like them?"

Isak nods, "I do. They're cool, and they... I don't know. Show your personality a lot in them. What about this one?" Isak asks, pointing to a bunch of scribbles on a drawing in the center of the other ones.

"Well, like you said, they show my personality. I drew that one during one of my episodes," Even admits, and Isak stays quiet, not wanting to push the subject further. "Ah, found it."

"Your ID?"

"No, this." Isak looks over at Even and finds him holding a joint and he grins, following Even to the nearest window where they sit, and Even quickly lights it with his lighter, taking a drag and then passing it to Isak. Isak takes it carefully, his fingertips lightly brushing on Even's and he feels a tingling sensation take over his body and he shivers. He can feel the blush rise up in his cheeks, but he finds Even staring out the window, blowing out smoke so he takes it that he didn't notice.

"How's it going with your dad?" Even asks, taking the joint from Isak.

"Nothing much has changed between him and I. I still don't talk to him as much, only if it's about rent money or him trying to get me to call my mom."

"Have you called her?"

Isak shakes his head, "No, I lost contact with her a while ago. I have no idea what's happening in her life anymore."

"You need to talk to her, Isak," Even says, flicking ashes out of the window.

"I know, I just... I wouldn't know what to say to her."

"Tell her you love her, Isak. That's probably all she wants to hear."

"It's easy for you to say that because you have such a close connection with your mother," Isak frowns, taking back the joint.

"It's what anyone would say, deep connection or not."

Isak shrugs, "Whatever, I just..." Isak takes a deep drag, quickly blowing out the smoke. "I don't think I'd be able to handle it."

Even nods, dropping the subject, and they continue smoking in silence. Isak's phone buzzes and he pulls it out, finding a text from Jonas.

Jonas: Hey, dude? Where are you with our beer? Pregame is starting soon?

Isak mutters 'shit' under his breath and quickly gets up from the windowsill, "I have to go."

"Go? Where?"

"The pregame! Fuck, I don't even have the beer-"

"Isak, you don't have to rush-"

"Yes, I do! You fucking distracted me and didn't even buy the beer for me. Fuck, I'll talk to you later or something," Isak rushes, heading towards the door and he pulls on his shoes and he can hear Even's feet patter towards him across the wooden floor.

"Sorry, I didn't know the pregame was a big deal," Even says. "You don't have to get mad about it, I'm sorry for even talking to you today."

"Even, I'm not trying to get mad at you-"

"Just go ahead. Tell the guys I said hey or something. My girlfriend is coming over soon anyway, so it's best you leave."

Isak feels a shot of sadness fill his heart, but he leaves without saying a word more to Even. He can't let Even get to him. Not now. Not again. Not ever. 

He rushes to his house, scrounging up the last few beer cans in his fridge and takes off again to Jonas' without saying a word to Eskild, drinking a beer on his way. He doesn't know it, not yet, but tonight is going to change everything from then on forward. He still finds himself high once he gets to Jonas', knocking on the door and Jonas lets him in.

"I have the beer, don't worry," Isak says, setting down the contents on the table in front of the guys.

"Isak, are you high?" Jonas laughs, sitting back down on his couch.

"A little, yeah."

"Who'd you get high with?"

"Even."

"Oh, him again," Jonas grins.

"What do you mean 'him again'? I thought he moved to America?" Magnus asks, taking a beer and cracking it open.

"Long story," Isak feels Jonas kick his shin while he's standing he scowls. "Him and I had this thing over summer before we started high school. He came back out of no where."

"Thing? The fuck, are you gay or something?" Magnus laughs, taking a long drink of his beer.

"No, I'm not gay!" Isak exclaims, taking a seat on the floor. "Maybe I'm a little gay, I don't know."

"Look, gay or not, I don't care," Mahdi says. "I'm just glad you brought the beer."

Isak manages a smile, "Cool."

"Yeah, same here. You haven't contributed your fair share in a while," Magnus laughs again. "What do you think about this, Jonas?"

"I already knew," Jonas shrugs, leaning back on the couch.

"You already knew?! Since when?"

"A long ass time ago."

"What the fuck, why didn't you tell us when you told him?" Magnus frowns.

"I just wasn't ready."

Magnus sighs, "Whatever."

After they finish the beer that Isak, Jonas heads into the kitchen and brings in his own and by this point they're all a little tipsy except Isak. Isak is sipping at his second beer slowly as the guys talk around him, and out of no where he feels so much guilt and sadness for Even, and for treating him like shit. 

"Guys, I have to go," Isak says suddenly, getting up from the floor.

"Go? Where? What about the party?" Jonas asks.

"It's important, I just... I have to go." Without another word from him or the guys, Isak heads out of the room, pulling on his shoes and leaving the half empty beer can near the door. He quickly rushes on the tram, retracing the steps he and Even took to get to his apartment. He makes his way up the stairs, knocking on the door loudly. He couldn't really care if his roommates are home at this point.

"Even, open up!" Isak yells, pounding on the door. "I'm sorry for treating you like I have been! I didn't want to hurt you!" Isak continues knocking. "Even, please..." Isak pauses, catching his breath. "Open the door! I'm sorry for pushing you away-"

Suddenly, the door opens and Isak almost falls in but he feels arms around him and he focuses on who's in front of him and the name escapes his lips in a whisper, "Even."

"Isak, what are you doing here?"

"I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to push you away like I have been... I know you just got back into my life and I'm sorry."

"Isak, calm down. You don't have to say you're sorry-"

"Is your girlfriend or roommates here?" Isak asks quietly.

"I don't have a girlfriend," Even tells him. "That was just a lie. I was a bit upset, as you could imagine. And no, my roommates aren't here. Why?"

Isak bites his lip, the feeling of Even's hands on his waist and he picks up his eyes, finding Even's and locking them with his own, his voice shaky and raspy, "Kiss me."

Even hesitates, leaning down slowly, his lips ghosting over Even's but in an instant something new and fresh takes over him. He hastily connects their lips, and that's when Isak finally knows he's falling for Even all over again. Isak finds his hands trailing up Even's back, gripping his hair lightly as their lips move against each others. Even moves backwards first and back into the apartment, Isak following willingly, grasping for the door knob and pulling it shut as Even drags him further into the room.

The kiss is soft, slow, tender, but also wanting. Isak tilts his head little by little every few minutes, desperately deepening the kiss and Even allows it. Isak speaks again, and his voice is low, "Even... I've missed you so much."

Even smiles, not saying anything more and Isak can feel the smile on his lips when their lips connect again, "We should take this slow."

"Please," Isak almost whimpers into Even's mouth. "I'm falling in love with you all over again."

"I know. I am, too."

Isak finds himself pressed against the wall, Even's hands ghosting on his thighs and he feels the grip tighten as he's picked up from the ground, Even carrying him into the bedroom and lightly placing him on the bed. Isak places his hand on the back of Even's neck, pulling him down for a soft, loving kiss as they situate themselves on Even's bed, Even hovering over Isak, Isak's hands slipping under his shirt and causing Even to shiver at his touch as he rides it up further, finally slipping it over Even's head and throwing it aside. 

Even does the same with Isak, his hands starting at the waistband of his jeans and working his way up, riding the shirt up with him and Isak leans up, allowing the shirt to slip off. They take in each other for a minute, gasping for breath and Even quickly dips down again, connecting their lips and Isak moans into his mouth just as Even brings down his hips onto Isak's, causing a sensation of friction. Isak bucks up his hips once Even stops, causing Even to groan above him and he smiles, hooking his fingers under the waistband of Even's jeans.

"Is this okay?" Isak asks, breaking their connection and he nods, and Isak quickly begins unzipping his jeans, and Even quickly helps, slipping them off and then working to slip of Isak's in a swift, quick motion. They connect their lips again, Isak arching his back to meet his hips up with Even and he whines when he fails, Even smiling against his lips.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Even whispers, looking down into Isak's emerald eyes and he finds them sparkling and so enchanting. Isak nods once and that gives Even the 'okay' to slip of their boxers, reaching over to pull out a condom and lubricant from his beside table drawer. Isak's breath hitches at the sight, causing Even to pause but Isak shakes his head, whispering 'it's okay' and Even quickly prepares Isak, carefully prepping Isak and slowly which brings Isak complete agony but in such a good and euphoric way. As soon as Isak is ready, Even steadies himself, bracing his arms on either side of Isak's head and slowly eases his way in and Isak is gone in an instant. He throws his head back, grasping the sheets as he wiggles at the strange sensation, his thighs already shaking.

Even lets out his own shaky breath and before he moves again, Isak finally comes to his senses and gives Even a smile, his face flushed and his blush is so visible and he nods, "It's okay. Keep going." And Even does. Even's name falls out of Isak's more times than he can count and he finds himself leaning his forehead on Isak's shoulder and he can feel him shaking. Isak is so lost in the sensation, wrapping his arms around Even. Isak knows he's getting closer to his high, the warm sensation in his stomach building and he can barely form words.

Soon enough, Isak reaches his peak with a loud gasp, throwing his head back one more time and Even helps him ride it out, the sight of Isak unraveling underneath him enough to let him set off too, Isak's name falling out of his mouth. They lie there a minute, Isak gasping for breath and soon Even rolls off of him, quickly taking off the condom and throwing it in the trash can near his bed. Isak feels so different, so... relieved and so much more open with his mind. He still feels like this isn't real and that he's on cloud nine, and he thinks this sensation lasts a life time. 

Isak lets out a happy sigh, accepting the tissues Even passes him and he cleans up quickly, throwing them away and he rolls onto his stomach next to Even, his eyes drooping with exhaustion and Isak's body is aching but in such a good way he's never experienced before. Even smiles so softly at Isak that his heart flutters with the familiar sensation he experienced so many summers ago.

"Even?" Isak whispers, letting out a small yawn and Even hums in response, waiting for him to go on. "I don't think I'm falling in love with you."

Even turns his head to look at Isak, raising an eyebrow but he's still smiling, "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that I think I've always been in love with you and I haven't stopped. Not once."

"When did you realize that?"

"When I walked away from you at the basketball court."

Even beams, placing a kiss on top of Isak's head, his sweat forming curls in his hair and his eyes droop just a little, "I never stopped loving you, either."

Isak smiles sleepily and Even quickly drifts off to sleep but Isak stays awake just a bit longer, his fingers ghosting over Even's lips, the shock sensation sending waves all over his skin. He continues tracing all over Even's skin, the electric feeling so new and he hopes he never gets used to it. His life is going to be so much different, and he can feel it. Just beneath his own skin and in his heart, he knows Even is here for the greater good and Isak knows he will always be there for Even. Whenever he needs him, he's always there.


	10. Chapter 10

Isak lies awake in Even's bed, running his fingers through his hair as he continues on sleeping, and early morning light streams through the curtains, lighting up the room a bit. Isak loves how the light catches so perfectly on Even's hair, causing it to shine and how his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks while he dreams. Isak's heart flutters as Even's eyes openly slowly and he can feel the grin appear on his face as Even catches his stare, his own smile making an appearance. 

"Good morning," Isak whispers quietly, his voice a bit raspy from not using it as much this morning since he woke.

"Good morning, sunshine," Even replies, his voice deep and husky and it causes Isak's skin to become riddled with goosebumps.

"Sleep well?"

"Hm, I did. You?"

Isak shrugs, tracing his finger tips against Even's jawline, "Yeah, been up for a while."

Even smiles and Isak feels him tighten his arms around his waist, causing his breath to hitch but in a good way but Even stops, his eyes filled with concern, "Is this okay?"

"Yeah, it's just... I haven't ever been held like this before. By anyone," Isak admits, biting his bottom lip harshly and he feels a blush return to his cheeks.

"Ever?" Even asks quietly, his eyes softening.

"Not since you had left."

Even laughs softly, continuing on with wrapping his arms around Isak and drawing him in close, "I'll hold you whenever you need me."

Isak shivers at his touch, his forehead against Even's chest, "Okay."

They lay like that all morning, legs entangled underneath the sheets, their warm breath on one anothers skin and Isak feels so content in the moment, not wanting Even to let go of him again and neither of them mind the silence. Isak's shoulders feel relaxed, his skin seeming to vibrate at every touch Even gives him and he doesn't think he could ever get used to this because this feeling so exhilarating.

"Are you feeling up for breakfast? I could make pancakes?" Even asks, his deep voice filling the void of silence.

"That sounds nice, yeah," Isak smiles, rising up from the bed with Even and finding his clothes thrown around the room and he quickly dresses, following Even out of the bedroom and into where the kitchen is. "What kind of pancakes?"

"Hm, I don't know. Maybe just regular? Unless you want chocolate chip, I'll make you anything," Even smiles warmly, grabbing ingredients from cupboards and the fridge. 

"I'll just go with regular. Anything you make, I'll be happy with," Isak offers, leaning back against the counter. 

Even nods, quickly mixing up the batter and in no time he's busy flipping pancakes and Isak watches in amazement. He stays quiet, and so does Even, and soon the batter is gone and they are left with a kitchen that smells of vanilla and cinnamon and a stack of warm pancakes. Even quickly makes their plates, setting them gently beside Isak on the counter and hands Isak a fork, holding his own in the opposite hand and they both take their first bite at the same time. Isak's eyes widen at how incredible they taste, finishing and swallowing and he smiles, "These taste amazing."

"You're right, they don't taste that bad," Even chuckles, taking another bite. They continue eating, talking quietly and making jokes and they both freeze as they hear someone walk towards the kitchen. 

"Even, I'm heading out. Who are you talking to- oh! Hello...?" Isak gawks at the person standing in the doorway of the kitchen and he feels Even rub his shoulder in a calming and soothing way. 

"Isak, this is my roommate Yousef Acar. Yousef, this is Isak. My boyfriend," Even speaks, offering a smile as the guy, Yousef, raises an eyebrow.

"Uh, hi," Isak manages, holding out a hand and Yousef steps forward, giving it a shake before letting his hand drop.

"Nice to meet you. But, um. I was just heading out to meet up with Elias and them. I'm guessing you're staying behind?" Yousef says, shoving his hands down in his pockets.

"Yeah, that's chill. Tell them I said hello," Even says and Yousef nods a response and leaves without another word, and once Isak hears the door shut he lets out a breath he was holding in.

"I didn't even know he was back," Isak whispers furiously, his face beet red.

"Isak, it's fine. It's okay, chill. He's a cool guy."

Isak sighs, "Whatever, let's just finish breakfast," They finish in silence, Even setting their plates in the sink and making his way back to Isak, placing his hands just underneath the fabric of his shirt which earns a smirk from Isak. "What do you wanna do?"

Even shrugs, not speaking a word as he leans forward and kisses the corner of Isak's mouth where just the tiniest bit of syrup remains from the pancakes and he whispers against his skin, "I really don't know, there's so many possibilities of what we could do." 

Isak hums, amused, pulling Even impossibly closer and pushing himself further against the counter, "What would be the best option?"

Even smirks, quickly placing his hands on the back of Isak's thighs and he lifts him up, sitting him on the counter, placing another daring kiss on his neck, "There's one idea in particular..."

"And what's that?"

Even presses his lips to Isak's, starting off with small kisses, "I can't quite put a name on what it might be." Is all he says between the kisses.

Isak giggles, wrapping his arms around Even's neck, gripping his hair slightly, "Tell me."

That's when Even settles between Isak's legs as he sits on the counter, kissing him hastily, hot breath mingling, "There's no words for it."

Isak grins as they pull away for a split second but soon enough their teeth and tongues are clashing and Even has Isak's legs wrapped around his waist, carrying him back into the bedroom. He lies him on his back gently, crawling over top of him, not once breaking their lips connection as Isak grips onto Even's shirt, pulling him down close to his body. Isak gasps as he feels Even bring his hips down to connect with his and his instant response is to buck up his own. Even laughs against his lips, causing Isak to whine as he feels Even's hands trail down his chest - his stomach - his sides - and eventually his thumbs are pressed into his hip bones.

Isak squirms as Even brings his shirt up over his head and then removing his own, bringing down his lips for a quick kiss and slowly trailing his lips across Isak's jawline, nipping at the sensitive skin on his neck causing purple spots to bloom instantly. He continues down, trailing his lips down his chest and stomach, occasionally biting on the soft skin causing Isak to groan. Even grins to himself, slipping his fingers underneath the stretch band of Isak's sweatpants and pulls them down slowly, ripping them off his ankles and throwing them to the side.

"Even," Isak gasps as he feels Even's lips touch his inner thigh and he instantly grips the bed sheets but he moves one hand to grip Even's hair. "Please."

Even laughs deeply, his thumbs pressed back into Isak's hip bones, preventing him from bucking them up as Even slips down Isak's boxers, throwing those too to the side. Isak takes a deep breath, continuously gripping Even's hair as he feels Even's lips move closer and closer to his dick. A few seconds and without warning, Even's warm mouth is surrounding him and Isak is gone. 

His back arches, a loud moan leaving his mouth as Even swallows him whole. The way Even is gripping Isak's hips, there will surely be bruises in the morning. Even finishes off Isak quickly, the teasing driving Isak to his edge before Even even touched him and Isak returns the favorite without thinking twice and they lie in bed, their chests heaving, smiling and enjoying the post-sex bliss, cuddling into each other. 

"I missed having someone to hold me all the time," Isak whispers, his head laying on Even's chest. "I can't remember the last time I cuddled someone before last night."

"I'm here to hold you. For however long you need, whenever you need. I'm here just for you and only you."

"If you keep saying cute shit like that I'm gonna cry," Isak laughs quietly, letting out a content sigh.

"That wouldn't be my intention, but I take that as a good sign," Even grins, running his fingertips over the skin of Isak's shoulder.

-

"Even?" Isak whispers, peppering Even's face with kisses.

"Hm, what?" Even mumbles, finally opening his eyes.

"I have to head back to my flat, Eskild texted me and said he's worried so I might as well head back," Isak tells him, giving him a small smile.

Even smiles sleepily, nodding as he leans up in bed, "I'll come with you, just give me a minute-"

"No, baby. That's okay. Just sleep. I'll see you in school tomorrow, yeah?" 

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Isak kisses his cheek. "I can walk back here with you tomorrow after school, okay?"

"Okay, baby. Love you," Even mumbles, burying his face in his pillow and Isak grins, leaning down and giving him one more kiss.

"Love you most."

-

"Isak Valtersen, where have you been? You didn't come home for two straight nights and- wait. Isak. Oh my, gosh did you-?" Eskild starts, his eyes widening.

"Do what?"

"Did you get laid?"

"What?!" Isak scoffs, crossing his arms.

"Isak, don't lie to me. You're practically glowing! Oh, my God was it with you-know-who? Isak! This is extraordinary!"

Isak stutters, his face heating up, "I- I- yes! I... I had sex with you-know who."

Eskild squeals, "Does this mean you two are back together?"

"I'm... I'm not sure," Isak bites his lip.

"Are you seeing him after school tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Then you two are definitely getting back together," Eskild winks, giving a nod.

"Just because we're going to see each other again tomorrow after sex doesn't mean we're getting back together!"

Eskild guffaws, "Okay, but if you don't come home I'll say 'I told you so' when you do."

"Not gonna happen!" Isak exclaims, making his way back to his room.

"Okay, baby gay!"

Isak grunts as he shuts his bedroom door, plopping himself on his bed and letting out a deep sigh. His body feels empty, and he realizes he deeply misses Even's arms wrapped around him. Eskild orders dinner, taking it easy on Isak tonight and sends him lowkey congratulation signals that Isak rolls his eyes at, thankful that he can crawl into bed and sleep, awaiting what the school day will bring tomorrow.

-

"Isak! Hey, dude. So... where did you disappear to during our pregame?" Jonas asks as the guys stand in the school yard.

"I just... had to take care of something. It's fine," Isak shrugs.

"Was it dealing with Even?" Magnus butts in, raising an eyebrow and Isak nods.

"Yeah, I just... it was important."

"You two hooked up, didn't you?" Jonas smirks.

"Why is everyone saying that!" Isak shouts, crossing his arms.

"Because you're basically strutting it right now," Magnus adds. "Way to go, dude."

Isak blushes, shaking his head, "It's nothing! I went over to apologize and it just... happened. I don't regret it or anything."

"That's chill. Are you two back together now?" Magnus continues.

"Uh, no. But we're heading somewhere. He texted me saying we can't meet up at his place, so he said he's planning for somewhere. It's weird, he's been texting me all these weird things all night and I don't think he got any sleep? He said he was going to be here today, but I haven't seen him."

"Maybe he was up late thinking about you and doing-" Magnus winks. "Stuff."

Isak shoves him, rolling his eyes, "You fantasies about other people's relationships too much, dude."

Magnus pretends to be offended, "Whaaat, no!"

Jonas and Mahdi give him a 'stop lying to yourself' look which shuts him up and they laugh, "Look, I gotta head to class. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Have fun with Even tonight."

"Counting on it."

-

"So where exactly are we going?" Isak asks, looking down at their intertwined hands.

"Somewhere special," Even's grin is goofy and Isak notices that his eyes are wide, and he's been acting strange since they began walking. 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything. I mean, some questions have no specific answer or there is no formidable answer at all but I can give you the best answer I can."

Isak raises an eyebrow, but continues on, "Are we... back together again?"

"As in, are we boyfriends again?"

"Yeah."

"I consider us together again. I think we're going to get married someday. Grand fucking wedding, you know? It's one of my dreams. You're the man of my dreams, so everything evolves around you. It's a dream of mine."

Isak smiles slightly, biting his lip, "Okay..."

"We're here!" Even exclaims, almost running forward to the hotel doors and Isak follows him quickly, still holding onto his hand. They walk into the lobby and Even immediately starts addressing himself. "I booked a room under Even Bech Næsheim."

"ID, please?" The lady asks, offering a smile and Even obliges, handing her the ID card instantly.

"Are you Danish?" The lady nods. "Are you Danish?! Wow... that's so cool. I love Danish people! Don't you, Isak?"

Isak nods, still a bit confused, "I do."

"I'm here with my boyfriend." Even says, grinning.

The lady smiles up at them, handing back Even his ID card, "How lovely."

"Isn't this man beautiful?"

"Very."

"My beautiful," Isak smiles, biting the inside of his cheek as they head towards the elevator, quickly making their way up to their hotel room, "Should we order something to eat? I'm fucking starving."

"Sure, room service menu is over there on the lamp stand," Isak says, quickly taking off his coat and hanging it on the coat hangar, sitting himself on the couch as Even quickly makes the order of burgers and fries. He grins, sitting down next to him quickly and pulls him into a hug, partially startling Isak who laughs nervously.

"Are you feeling all right?" Isak asks as soon as Even loosens up the hug.

"I feel fucking great," Even beams but Isak knows somethings up.

"Even, really. Are you feeling okay?"

Even doesn't answer, he just pulls Isak in close again, pressing his lips against Isak's eagerly and Isak melts into it instantly, wrapping his arms around the boy he loves. He's confused, slightly lost, but he wants this to be so perfect in this perfect hotel room tonight, and it is full of pure bliss. They ignore the waiter bringing in their food cart with their burgers, but he comes in goes. Isak knows something is wrong, and his gut feeling is to keep pushing but he just lets it happen - Even carrying him off into the pristine bedroom and deep down he feels like Eskild is right about their relationship but even deeper he feels that something is off.


	11. Ch. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, I apologize! I've had writers block but I'm determined to try and post chapters as frequently as I can. Enjoy <3

As Isak and Even lie in the hotel bed, their breathing finally back to normal pace, they lie on their sides facing one another. Even is grinning, his eyes wide - almost wild - as he runs his fingers through Isak's hair, tucking strands behind his ear. Isak stays quiet, the soft feeling of Even's fingertips on his skin soothing him and his eyelids begin to feel heavy with fatigue. 

"You know, the only way to keep something forever... is to lose it?" Even whispers, his lips falling down into a frown and Isak raises an eyebrow, shaking his head slightly.

"Don't say stuff like that. I've lost you too many times. The only way I kept you with me all those times was by looking at the stars," Isak responds, letting out a soft sigh.

Even smiles weakly, "I was only joking. Get some sleep."

"Even?" Isak whispers after a few minutes of silence.

"Hm?"

"Are you feeling okay? Like, right now? In this very minute?"

Even nods, "I feel like the happiest person in the world."

"Okay," Isak answers, uncertainty still rolling in his stomach.

Even leans forward and presses a kiss on Isak's forehead, his warm breath lingering on Isak's hair, "Sleep, Isak."

And he does. For a while.

-

Isak groans, burying his face in the pillow as he hears Even rummaging around the bathroom - as he has been for the past hour. He lets out a sigh, "Don't you ever sleep?"

Isak waits as he hears Even's feet patter towards the bed and he feels the weight shift behind him and soon Isak feels his lips on his cheek, "Not when you're lying here looking fucking hot."

Isak giggles sleepily, opening his eyes to look at Even who is now lying in front of him, "Are you going to stay and sleep now?" Isak closes his eyes again, not bothering for a response but he feels Even jump up from the bed and rather quickly. He hears more rummaging around their room, him opening drawers and cabinets hastily. "Baby! Come lie down with me..."

He hears Even groan as he mumbles a response, "Yeah, let me just... go out and buy some McDonalds first."

"What...?" Isak asks, quickly sitting up in bed just as Even walks out of the bedroom - with absolutely no clothes on. He jumps up quickly, wrapping the duvet around him and he finds Even in the dining room slipping on his shoes and heading towards the door but he stops him, jerking back on his arm. "Even!"

"Isak, go back to sleep I have to go out for McDonalds-"

"Even, please. Stay."

Even tries to break from Isak's grip, getting closer to the door, "It's just McDonalds?"

"No, you can't go out! You're... you're... naked, Even. Just, come lie down with me."

"I'll be back-"

Before Even can continue, Isak lets go of Even for a split second and quickly wraps his arms around him, enclosing him with the duvet as well and he just holds him and this time, Even doesn't protest. His eyes are filled with confusion, but he lets Isak just hold him for a few minutes. Eventually, Isak pulls away, his arms still around Even's waist and he lets out a sigh, "Let's go home."

"Home?" Even questions.

Isak shakes his head quickly, correcting himself, "My place. My flat."

Even nods, still a bit lost and finally, as they're getting dressed, Isak understands what this is. 

_"I'm bipolar, Isak. I'm not okay." Manic episode. Episode. Manic. Bipolar. ___

__Isak freezes, glancing over at Even as he pulls his shirt over his head and swallows down the sadness that builds up in his throat. Even is having to live with this and the uncertainty it brings. Isak quickly finishes dressing, packing their small bags and he reaches out his hand for Even to take and thankfully he does, and Even is the one to instantly intertwine their fingers. It's late, but they have time to catch the tram that will take them to Oslo. The ride is quiet, Isak leaning into Even's side as a natural instinct and they make it back to Isak's shared flat. Even waits and follows Isak quietly through the dark, quiet flat and they enter his room and they don't say a word as they undress, staying in their boxers and they both crawl under the covers of Isak's bed._ _

__All Isak can do is hold Even in his arms, his arm draped over Even's waist and his other brushing hair out of Even's eyes as they just lay and stare at each other. Their legs somehow become entangled as Even starts to drift off to sleep, but Isak stays awake and once he thinks Even is asleep, he sighs, cuddling in closer and whispers, "You're not alone. Ever. I'm here for you just like you are for me. We'll get through this together."_ _

__Isak falls asleep shortly after, but Even is awake despite his eyes being closed and he opens them for a while, his eyes burning with unshed tears and they start falling slowly. He manages a smile as he watches Isak sleep peacefully and soon, he is able to drift off, tears still slipping from his eyes._ _

__-_ _

__Isak wakes first, still tired but he doesn't dare fall asleep. His heart skips a beat as he finds Even still lying beside him, the duvet tucked up to his chin. He sighs, rising from his bed to use the restroom but he quickly makes his way back, not bothering to crawl under the duvet again. He just wraps it more around Even, lying back next to him and he just watches him sleep._ _

__He doesn't know how long he lies there - or when he ever woke up to begin with - he feels like time doesn't exist right now and the only thing that does exist is him, Even, and this room. He stays quiet as he reaches over to take his phone from the floor beside his bed and his clicks it on - 10.47 am. Isak sighs, setting the phone on his chest as he lies on his back, constantly glancing over at the older boy beside him._ _

__He guesses another hour goes by as Even finally wakes up, glancing around the room and then finally adjusting his eyes on Isak. He doesn't smile, and neither does Isak._ _

__"Hi," Isak whispers, rolling back over on his side._ _

__"Hi..." Even replies, his voice quiet and raspy._ _

__"Sleep well? Are you hungry?"_ _

__"What time is it?"_ _

__"Around 11 am."_ _

__Even nods, letting out a sigh, "I should go."_ _

__"Why?" Isak asks, knitting his eyebrows together._ _

__"I shouldn't stay here."_ _

__"Why?" Isak asks again, not being able to think of anymore to say._ _

__"Because I know if I stay here... with you... I'll just manage to hurt you somehow like I have been," Even admits, dropping his gaze from Isak's. "I don't want you to be sad because of me again."_ _

__"I'm not sad. And you won't hurt me."_ _

__Even sighs, "Isak-"_ _

__"No. You don't get it. You've hurt me too many times to hurt me again, and I'm not going to let you hurt yourself over anything. I'm here for you, and Even... I fucking love you. I love everything about you. Every flaw, every mistake, every fucking break that hasn't or can't be fixed. I have always been here for you and you won't feel alone, because you're not alone," Even stays quiet, biting his lip and he picks up his gaze and it instantly locks with Isak's piercing green eyes. "Lets play a game, okay? It's called... Isak and Even: Minute by Minute. It's where all we have to worry about is the next minute. Not the next hour, not the next day, not the next week. Just right now, in this minute. Do you feel up for it?"_ _

__Even manages a weak smile, giving a nod, "Yeah, it sounds chill."_ _

__"Sounds chill?"_ _

__"Mhm. But," Even pauses, licking his lips. "What are we going to do this minute?"_ _

__Isak's lips twitch upwards in the corner, "This minute, we'll kiss. Is that chill?"_ _

__"That's chill."_ _

__Isak leans forward slowly and he gently places his lips on Even, feeling his warm breath on his skin which makes it tingle. He pulls away, only to lean in for one more and he allows Even to pull back, closing his eyes and Isak just holds him, whispering, "We could just call it Isak and Even: Sunrise to Sunset."_ _

__"Why?" Even actually chuckles which causes Isak's heart to flutter._ _

__"Because when you were gone, I knew that when I was looking at a sunrise, you were looking at a sunset. When I was looking at a sunset, you were looking at a sunrise. When I was looking at the night sky and seeing the stars, you would be looking up at the blue sky and seeing the sun and I would see the same image and that reminded me that I might be able to see you again - someday - and I was right."_ _

__"Before I saw you at that party, I was with Jonas eating pot brownies. I was sky high, but there was one thing I couldn't stop thinking about - and that was you. I thought 'Even might come back into my life, but for what? The good, or the bad?' and I think I've finally decided."_ _

__"And what did you decide?" Even finally pipes up, looking at Isak through droopy eyes._ _

__"That you came back into my life for both. Celebrate with me through the good, help me through the bad - and I'm going to do the same for you, every step of the way. I don't care if you're bipolar - I care about you and your well being. I won't stop and I'll do everything I can to make sure you're okay, mentally, physically, and emotionally. We can make it through this."_ _

__"We can."_ _

__Isak nods, "We can."_ _


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so cute and sappy and tooth-rotting sweet lmao. Only two more chapters to go!!

"Even," Isak whispers quietly, smiling as he hears Even hum a response as he continues peppering Even's face with little kisses. "Are you hungry? I can try and make you something, and then we can get you to your parents place instead of your apartment?"

"I just want to sleep," Even grumbles, turning on his side to face Isak and Isak's words get caught in his throat as he sees the dark circles around his eyes.

Isak offers a warm smile, running his hands through Even's hair and he gives him a nod, "That's okay. I'm not such a good cook, anyway. You can sleep."

"Thank you," Even returns a weak smile, leaning up a bit to connect his and Isak's lips before lying his head back on the blue pillow Isak gave especially for him. Isak stays in bed as Even drifts off into another sleeping spell, keeping his eyes on him and making sure to be ready whenever he needs anything. Isak's phone pings, signalling a message and he quickly checks it and finds it from Even's mom.

_Angie: Hi, dear Isak. I've heard that Even has been having a rough time but that he's with you. I'm worried about him, and when you can, get him home to us? It reassures me that he's with you, because that's where he's always wanted to be, and you're welcome to stay here as well just to be with Even for a while - just please get him home somehow, we miss him._

_Isak: He's in a sleepy mood and isn't seeming to want to do anything but I understand what's happening and I'm not going to push him but I promise I'll get him home. I know it's not my place to say, but I think it'd be best for him to stay here for a while. Schools starts again tomorrow but he's always welcome to stay here with me._

_Angie: That's quite alright, it's fine if he stays with you until he's feeling better physically and mentally. You're so good to him, Isak. Please don't let him go, yeah?_

_Isak: Of course. ___

__Isak lets out a soft sigh, setting his phone down on his chest as he lies on his back, head turned facing Even. He smiles to himself, wrapping the blanket a bit tighter around Even as he rolls onto his side, burying his face into Even's back and into the duvet and soon enough, Isak finds himself deeply asleep, the steady breathing of Even beside him bringing him relief._ _

__-_ _

__Isak jumps a little as he feels someone shake his shoulder and as he opens his eyes, he spots Eskild standing over him with a confused expression on his face. Isak rolls his eyes, getting up from his bed and he glances back at Even before walking out into the hall with Eskild._ _

__"When did you two make it back here?" Eskild rushes, crossing his arms across his chest._ _

__"Last night," Isak yawns, shrugging. "Something happened and we had to come back so we came here."_ _

__Eskild raises an eyebrow, "You couldn't have taken him home?"_ _

__"No! No, no, I mean... he needed me. Personal reasons," Isak coughs, rubbing his nose._ _

__"You're back together with him again, aren't you?" Eskild asks softly, and Isak knows that he knows he already knows the answer._ _

__"Yes."_ _

__"Come to the kitchen, I made coffee. We can talk about some stuff because I am your guru, remember?" Eskild manages to crack a smile from Isak as they walk into the kitchen together, Eskild pouring them both a cup and he allows Isak to add his own milk and sugar as they sit at the small dining table._ _

__"I knew I wouldn't be able to let go of him," Isak says after taking a sip from his coffee. "He means too much and I know he thinks it's going to be hard, but... it's going to be anyway, no matter what. Relationships take effort."_ _

__Eskild nods understandingly, "What about the time you just left him in that park after what he told you? Why did you do that if you didn't want to let go of him?"_ _

__"Well... once, while I was getting high with a friend... I was thinking about him, and how he could make his way back into his life-"_ _

__"And he did," Eskild interjects._ _

__"Yes, but I was also questioning if he was going to come back for the good or bad," Isak admits, biting his lip. "When he dropped everything on me at the park, I came to the conclusion that he was here for the bad and to make my life miserable, but then... I realized that his life is already way more miserable than mine and that I needed to be there for him, not push him away like I did."_ _

__"So...? What exactly does that mean?" Eskild asks, taking a drink of his own coffee._ _

__"That I just need to be there for him when he needs me. I've come to my senses and I've realized that everyone has someone who comes into their life for both the good and the bad, and that's who Even is to me. He's here for the good and the bad of my life, and I am there for him through the good and bad of his."_ _

__Eskild smiles slightly, "Wow... who would have thought there was love in that grumpy teenage body of yours? You truly love him, don't you?"_ _

__Isak smiles back, nodding, "I do. I don't want to lose him again to something selfish."_ _

__"I gotta say, it seems like you two have been through hell and back with this relationship," Eskild chuckles._ _

__"It really feels like it," Isak grins, finishing up his coffee and he's about to say something more when both he and Eskild hear feet shuffling in the hallway and soon enough, Even emerges, rubbing his eyes and squinting into the room from the dim light._ _

__"Even! Hey, feeling a bit better?" Isak asks, quickly getting up from the table and walking over to him, wrapping an arm around his waist carefully, unsure of his balance._ _

__Even manages a small smile, "Yeah, just a bit hungry is all. I forgot this was a shared flat, I'm sorry for intruding." Even gestures to Eskild who scoffs, waving his hand as to brush off what he said._ _

__"It's no problem! If my baby gay has someone who is in need of help, I am more than happy to oblige. I'm Eskild, by the way. You must be Even. Isak talks about you all the time! In fact, we were just-"_ _

__"Eskild, please!" Isak hisses, shooting him a look and Isak's heart flips as he hears Even chuckle._ _

__"You were talking about me, hm, baby gay?" Even teases and Isak rolls his eyes, smiling fondly._ _

__"Please don't start calling me that, oh, my God," Isak mumbles, hiding his face in his hand as he hears Eskild laugh._ _

__"I'll just leave you two here to... talk, or whatever. Foods in the fridge, help yourself to whatever you'd like, Even."_ _

__"Thank you, Eskild," Even smiles as Eskild gives a wave, walking off into his own bedroom._ _

__"I was only talking about you because Eskild was asking how you were doing," Isak confirms, looking up at Even. "You hungry? I can try and make us something."_ _

__"I'm a bit hungry, yeah. I don't care what you make," Even grins, causing Isak's stomach to flutter as he nods, breaking away from Even's side as he begins rummaging around the kitchen looking for utensils and ingredients. Even watches, amused, as Isak struggles to figure out something to make._ _

__"You don't know how to cook, do you?" Even asks and Isak hears the smile in his voice as he scans the fridge._ _

__Isak sighs, closing the refrigerator and he crosses his arms, his face red from embarrassment, "No."_ _

__Even chuckles, getting up from the table and he reopens the fridge, pulling out a container of mushrooms and an onion, "Do you have chicken broth and some dry white wine?"_ _

__"Uh, I think so..." Isak mutters, quickly opening and closing cupboards. He thankfully finds the chicken broth and the dry white wine, setting them on the counter next to the mushrooms and onion. "Anything else?"_ _

__Even is rummaging through the fridge again and he sets a small container of garlic cloves on the counter next to everything else, "Rice and olive oil?"_ _

__"Yeah," Isak digs the rice out from one of the cupboards along with the olive oil. "What exactly are you going to make?"_ _

__"Mushroom risotto, have you ever had it?" Even asks, closing the fridge as he begins preparing the ingredients and he pulls a knife from a drawer after searching for a while._ _

__"No, I don't think so," Isak says, leaning back against the counter._ _

__"You're gonna love it, it's delicious," Even grins as he begins finely chopping the mushrooms and then moving onto the onion, separating them into small piles. He quickly pours the broth into a pan, setting it on a low heat and then he moves back to mincing the garlic. Isak watches in amazement at how fast Even's hands move over the ingredients and how concentrated he looks, his jaw clenching every so often. He adds the mushrooms quickly once the broth comes to a simmer and then brings it to a very low heat._ _

__"Why aren't you stirring the mushrooms...?" Isak asks, raising an eyebrow._ _

__"I have to leave them set in the broth until they are tender," Even explains, smiling, as he begins melting the unsalted butter in a sauce pan, adding the olive oil and then adding in the onions and sauteing them until they too are tender, removing the mushrooms from the heat closely to halfway through sauteing the onions. "Could you remove those mushrooms from the broth with a spoon and drain them so I can add them in here with the onions?"_ _

__Isak nods, acting quickly and soon enough Even has the kitchen filled with a delicious smell as he adds in the drained mushrooms along with the garlic. He then stirs in the rice a few minutes later, letting it toast, as Even put it, and then he adds in a dash of the dry white whine, stirring occasionally. Isak measures out one cup of the broth for Even, pouring it in for him as he continues sauteing. Isak watches in astonishment as the mixture becomes creamy as Even adds in a few more cups of broth as needed. Even grins, winking at Isak as he turns off the flame, moving the pan from one burner to the next so the dish can cool quicker._ _

__Isak smiles, pulling two plates from the cupboard and forks to match from the drawer setting them neatly on the table as Even begins to dish the beautiful meal. Isak waits patiently for Even to sit across from him so he can dig into the food, his mouth watering at the sight and smell of the mushroom risotto. Finally, Even sits, grinning, and they both take a forkful of the meal. Isak groans in delight, the rice creamed just right and the mushrooms are soft and tender and it's so damn delicious._ _

__"Good?" Even asks after a few more bites, raising his eyebrows._ _

__"It's fucking delicious, wow," Isak replies. "I never knew you could cook like this?"_ _

__Even shrugs, taking another bite, "I learned a lot in American, surprisingly. I wouldn't call myself a five-star chef, but close."_ _

__Isak grins, "How did you think of this recipe so fast?"_ _

__"I don't know, I just wanted to make something fancy to please you," Even winks, causing Isak to blush._ _

__"Fancy indeed, wow," Isak answers, and they quickly finish up the meal. "Are you feeling better? Still a bit tired?"_ _

__"No, not really. Usually after an episode, my sleeping schedule is a bit messed up for a while but I work it back into order somehow."_ _

__Isak nods, pushing away his now empty plate, "Your mom texted me earlier while you were asleep - said she wanted you to go back home."_ _

__Even sighs, "Well, school does start again tomorrow so I guess I should go. I don't want to be in your hair."_ _

__Isak scoffs, "You wouldn't be in my hair if you stayed, and trust me I would love if you did, but... I just think you deserve to see your mom."_ _

__"Okay, I'll go today. Come with me?"_ _

__"Of course."_ _

__-_ _

__As Isak and Even approach his home, Isak smiles, grabbing Even's hand and squeezing it tight to reassure him that yes, this is the right thing to do. Even nods as he raises his hand and knocks a couple times on the door and they wait patiently for one of his parents to open the door, and thankfully it's Even's mom._ _

__"Oh, Even, dear! You don't have to knock," Angie says, smiling at them both and Isak feels a pang of sadness as he notices how drastic her appearance has changed since he last saw her - slightly dull skin, bandana wrapping around her now-bald head and he fights back the urge to cry because he knows she's been through so much pain - and so has Even._ _

__Isak follows Even into the house, closing the door behind him as they follow his mother into the dining room, "I'm really glad to be home, mom," Even speaks up, smiling softly._ _

__"I'm glad to have you back home," she says, pulling him into a hug but Even doesn't let go of Isak's hand, "I brought Isak along, I figured you'd want to see him."_ _

__"Would I ever! It's so lovely to see you again," Angie beams, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Even, do you mind if Isak and I have a talk for a minute?"_ _

__Even bites his lip, hesitant, but he nods, "Sure. I'll be up in my room once you're done." Isak sits in the silent dining room with Even's mother as he walks out of the room, carefully waiting for him to be out of earshot before she speaks._ _

__"I want to talk to you because I know he's been having a hard time, and things like these will happen often. They won't go away, you understand that, don't you?"_ _

__Isak nods, "Yes, I completely understand."_ _

__"So, he has told you he's bipolar?"_ _

__"Yes."_ _

__"Okay," Angie lets out a sigh. "He needs someone to be there for him in times like these when he has an episode. I know you two have been through a lot together since you were children, but he was diagnosed while we were in America - I'm sure you know that, too."_ _

__"It's just that... you're special to him, Isak. I know how much he cares about you, and what kind of extremes he would go to for anything you needed, but I just need to know - are you willing to stand by him, no matter what, even if things get too hard?"_ _

__Isak bites his lip, considering all the possible answers he could give and finally he speaks, "Yes. I am one hundred percent ready to be committed to him when he needs me, no matter what. I sound like I'm marrying him and these are my vows, but... in all honesty, I am and will always be there for him. You can count on that, because I care about him as much as you do. I love him."_ _

__Angie smiles, her eyes bright, "I thought I would get an answer like this because I know exactly the type of person you are. But, I am grateful that Even has someone like you in his life," Isak smiles as Angie takes his hands in her own. "Now before I start crying, go on ahead up there and spend some time with him. Like I said, you're welcome to stay whenever you'd like if he doesn't head back to his shared flat right away."_ _

__Isak stands from the dining chair he's been sitting in and nods, "Thank you, so very much."_ _

__Angie gives a nod as Isak heads out of the room and up the stairs into Even's room and he finds him sitting at his bed, a notebook in his hands and as Isak walks closer, he finds small, wet drops on the paper that's filled with drawings, "Even, what's wrong? Look at me, baby, hey."_ _

__Even sniffles, shaking his head as he wipes away the tears and he looks up at Isak, "These drawings were all meant for you."_ _

__"Me? What do you mean?" Isak asks, taking the notebook from his hands and looking over the drawings, flipping through the many pages._ _

__"I was meaning to send them to you while I was in America but I didn't bother after I thought you were ignoring me, I kept them," Even admits, folding his hands in his lap._ _

__Isak gazes at the beautiful artwork, running his fingers over the pencil markings and he looks up at Even, reaching up a hand to wipe away some of the tears, "They're beautiful."_ _

__"They are yours."_ _

__"Oh, Even. I can't take these-"_ _

__"But they are meant for you," Even counters, smiling weakly. "Keep them. They're yours."_ _

__Isak sighs, shaking his head, "No, they could never be mine. They're ours, okay?"_ _

__Even guffaws, blinking and another tear drops and Isak is quick to wipe it away, "Okay, fine. They're our drawings."_ _

__Isak smiles, setting the notebook in his lap, "Ours, but you can keep them here with you."_ _

__"Okay, that's chill."_ _

__"That's chill?"_ _

__"It's chill."_ _

__Isak sets the notebook aside on the beside table, reaching for Even's hand and he intertwines their fingers, the familiar feeling calming to both of them as they sit in silence in their own little space in their own little minute of time, "Is this all we're going to do for the next few hours?"_ _

__"Don't worry about the next few hours. Worry about the next minute."_ _


	13. Ch. 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, one last chapter to go after this one. Wow. Warnings: Sex in the shower, what do you expect from me. Enjoy <3

It was Isak's third, almost fourth night at staying with Even at his parent's place and it was just the beginning of the weekend. Isak had had Even's only window open to allow in fresh air so Even could keep in touch with the outside world - in some way. Even was just tired, and he had his moments of staying completely quiet and hiding under the safety of his duvet but Isak didn't poke him back out. He waited, lying and facing Even where his eyes just barely peeked the edge of the blanket, and he just waits patiently. He sees how empty Even's eyes look sometimes, how dark the bags are underneath them but all he can manage to do to comfort his is stroke his hair and tuck loose strands behind Even's ear. 

On the fourth night, it's cold, and a nipping breeze is flowing through the open window of Even's room and despite Isak shivering and not wanting to intrude Even's space under the duvet, he clutches his hands onto it, curling his toes in his socks. He doesn't bother getting up to close the window, knowing the cold will withdraw by day but Even must notice because Isak can hear him clearing his throat and small noises as if he's trying to say something but Isak stays quiet, shivering, and he feels Even's warm hands enclose around his own.

"Isak, baby," Even says, his voice raspy. "Come and cuddle me under here. I know you're cold."

Isak shakes his head instantly, "No, I'm fine. It's fine, Even."

Even's pitiful smile is weak as he raises up the duvet, giving a light tug at Isak's hand, "Please?"

Isak groans, but finally he accepts the offer and instantly he's tucked into Even's side. Even hasn't showered for a while, but Isak doesn't mind. All he minds is being close to Even and Even allowing him back into his space, even if it's just for this one time until he gets better. Isak lets out a sigh, the warmth of Even's body heat surrounding him immediately and he finds his fingers curled around the fabric of his sweatshirt. He feels Even breathing steadily beside him and it makes him feel so relieved inside, his eyes instantly drooping closed from the fatigue and it surprises him when he feels Even's arm snake his way around his waist, pulling him just a bit closer and they fall asleep just like that, legs entangled and Even holding Isak as close as he possibly can.

-

In the morning, when Isak stirs awake, he finds himself alone in the bed and he instantly panics, throwing off the duvet as he checks around the bathroom and then eventually he rushes downstairs, heart beating loudly in his ears and he almost passes out from relief when he finds Even in the kitchen with his mother - smiling, laughing. Isak confirms this is the most beautiful sight he has ever seen in his 17 years of living. Angie spots him first while she's holding her cup of coffee in her hands and flashes him a bright, warm smile and she beckons him in.

"Isak, dear! Good morning! Even and I were just busy chatting and making you up some breakfast," Angie says, placing a hand on Even's arm.

"I've been making up the breakfast, she's been chatting," Even confirms and he grins as his mother scoffs and his eyes soon avert to Isak and Isak can see how bright his eyes have finally become. "I hope scrambled eggs are alright with you, Isak?"

Isak blinks a couple times, feeling a bit dazed and his face instantly heats up as he nods frantically, "Yes, that's okay. Thank you."

"It's no problem, love," Even responds and Isak's heart skips a beat at how freely Even uses that word.

Isak bites his lip as he smiles, sitting at the table next to Angie who's beaming with delight, "It's such a nice thing to see my boy in love with a cute boy like you, Isak."

Isak chuckles nervously, his eyes flickering to Even as he hears his deep laugh fill the room, "Thanks, Angie. I swear, Even is too good to me sometimes."

"Not true," Even cuts in, serving the eggs on separate plates. "You, Isak Valtersen, are way too good for _me _."__

__Isak rolls his eyes fondly as Even reaches and places the plates in front of him and his mother, taking his own seat and eagerly picking up his fork and Isak watches as Even takes a big bite of eggs, "You say that but you know it's not true."_ _

__Angie finally pipes up, "You're both just perfect for each other, stop fussing over it so much. I just care about how happy you two are with each other."_ _

__Isak and Even laugh softly, their eyes catching for a split second before quickly looking away, returning to their breakfast and they finish over small banter, Angie leaving them to do as they please in the house while she has a doctors appointment._ _

__"So," Even starts. "What do you want to do?"_ _

__"Are you feeling up for a walk?" Isak offers, playing with a napkin in his lap._ _

__"Absolutely. I'd do anything with you," Even grins as Isak nods and they both rise from the table. "I took a shower, so don't worry about that."_ _

__Isak's eyes flicker up and down Even's body, taking in his new change of clothes, "That's chill. Let's just pull on our shoes and jackets and head out."_ _

__Even leaves a small note for his parents, telling them that they're heading out for a bit and they walk out hand in hand and into town. They stop and grab some coffee before heading to a local park, the cold limiting the visitors as winter approaches closer and closer. Before they sit on a bench, they discard their empty cups and sit knee-to-knee, Isak clutching onto Even's hands. They sit in silence, the cold air pinching at their cheeks and nose, coloring them bright red but Isak still feels warm inside with Even beside him. Even lets out a sigh, looking down at their hands before speaking._ _

__"I want to say thank you," Even says quietly and Isak raises an eyebrow, looking over at him._ _

__"Thank me? For what?" Isak asks in disbelief._ _

__"Taking care of me. Not giving up on me. You have... you have no idea how much that fucking means to me. How much you mean to me," Even admits, meeting Isak's eyes with his own._ _

__"Even, I would do absolutely anything for you. The only thing that matters to me right now is you and you getting better."_ _

__Even smiles, reaching up a hand to cup Isak's jaw and Isak melts into the touch without hesitation, his own smile playing on his lips, "And this is why I love you."_ _

__"I'm just doing what I know is the right thing to do, and that is to be with you," Isak replies quietly, squeezing onto Even's hand a bit. "Every minute."_ _

__"Can we kiss in this minute? My lips are cold," Even asks innocently but a smirk plays on his lips._ _

__"Absolutely."_ _

__Even grins, leaning in eagerly as he attaches their lips, their hot breath intermixing and it sends shivers down Isak's spine as the familiar tingle of Even's skin on his runs wild beneath his own. The kiss is drawn out for longer than intended, and just as Isak moves a bit closer, Even breaks it, causing Isak to whine, "We have to remember that we're in public, Isak."_ _

__Isak whines even more, shaking his head, "I'm not one for public sex but I'm dying for you right now."_ _

__"How about we get back to your place and we take a warm shower, hm?" Even whispers, hot against Isak's tingling skin._ _

__"Eskild isn't home, he has work, and Linn is probably out taking care of the necessities around the flat. Let's hurry and fucking go already," Isak rises from the bench, dragging Even along and it starts snowing lightly as they reach the flat, Isak hastily yanking his house key from his coat pocket and they hurry into the apartment, not bothering to switch on lights as they rush to the bathroom. Isak rushes to turn on the water on a warm setting and quickly helps Even undress and Even returns the favor, their breath hot and frantic as they climb into the shower, the hot water hitting their skin and the kiss couldn't get more heated._ _

__Isak moans as Even pushes him back into the tiled wall of the shower, nipping at his sensitive skin on his neck which causes it to bloom with pretty purple marks that Even admires. Isak is rock hard and has been since they left the park and Even is more than willing to give the love of his life the sexual favor of blowing him off in the shower. Even sinks lower and lower, placing kisses everyone on Isak's skin and Isak swears he's on fire as Even moves more downward, placing kisses in his inner thighs, causing his legs to tremble already._ _

__Even chuckles as Isak's breathing becomes panting as he places a small kiss on the very tip of his member causing Isak to shudder and almost collapse at the erotic sensation. Isak grips Even's wet hair just as Even looks up at him, his eyes dark and daring and all it takes is for Isak to give a nod and Even is swallowing him, not even gagging at the reflex and Isak throws his head back a bit too hard but he ignores the throbbing pain of his head and enjoys the bobbing of Even's head on his dick. It only takes Isak a few minutes to come in Even's mouth and he courteously spits it down the drain, grinning and giving Isak a wink as he pulls him up, connecting their lips lazily and Isak finds himself jacking Even off, enjoying the pleasant moans that Even awards him with as he spurts come all over Isak's stomach and it makes Isak almost want to have a second round seeing how hot his boyfriend is coming to his touch._ _

__They kiss lazily for a few more minutes before gingerly washing each others hair and body, slowly getting out of the shower and dressing, their hair still dripping wet as they make their way to Isak's room and they both climb into the bed, cuddling into each other as they drift off to sleep holding each other._ _

__-_ _

__"Baby," Isak hears whispered into his ear and he groans, burying his face into his pillow._ _

__"Hmm?" He responds, opening his eyes slightly and he finds Even kneeling next to him, a smile on his face._ _

__"I told my parents I stayed here last night and I told them I'm spending today with you and heading back to school with you tomorrow," Even says and Isak can feel his fingers running through his hair, causing him to smile._ _

__"Okay, that's cool. Why are you awake, you couldn't wait till I woke up?" Isak moans, pouting as Even chuckles._ _

__"It's half past noon, love. I think it's time you wake up," Even nudges, poking Isak in his side under the blanket which causes him to squirm, smiling._ _

__"Okay, okay! Fine, I'm awake... just a few more minutes," Isak sighs, rolling over on his side hoping Even will give up and let him sleep as he shuts his eyes but he feels the weight shift on the bed and he holds back a groan as he feels Even cradle him between his legs and he instantly rolls onto his back, looking up at Even. "Seriously?"_ _

__Even winks, leaning down to press a kiss on Isak's nose, "Seriously. Come on, up up up!"_ _

__"But Evi, I just want to sleep!" Isak whines, draping his arm over his eyes as he feels Even settle on his hips._ _

__"Excuse me, what? Did you just call me 'Evi'?" Even chuckles, placing his hands on either side of Isak's hips._ _

__Isak instantly blushes, stuttering out a response, "Wh-what? No! I said Even!"_ _

__"I hate to disagree but you called me Evi, that's so fucking hot," Even almost moans and Isak rolls his eyes as he feels Even's lips ghost over the skin of his neck._ _

__"Even, please-" Isak protests but he doesn't bother being serious as he giggles a bit sleepily, removing his arm from his eyes and pulling Even over to place a kiss on his slightly chapped lips and the kiss heightens quickly, Isak a mess under Even in a matter of minutes but just as Isak's hands move to Even's waistband, Even stops him, clucking his tongue._ _

__"You need to get out of bed, breakfast is getting cold. Plus your roommates are awake and you are most definitely not quiet."_ _

__Isak grumbles as Even rolls off of him, standing by the door as Isak follows after him into the kitchen where he finds his roommates happily chattering over the beautiful breakfast Even has provided, "Croissants?"_ _

__"Yes, did you not know I could bake as well?" Even lets out a soft laugh as he reaches for a plate, littering it with fruits and french toast and he holds it out to Isak who takes it carefully, biting his lip._ _

__"No, I didn't know that," Isak responds, taking a small bite of watermelon._ _

__"There's so much you don't know about me, it's such a shame," Even frowns playfully, leaning against the counter and he looks out at Eskild and Linn who are graciously helping themselves. "Good?"_ _

__Eskild nods, "Delicious. Thank you for such a treat, Even."_ _

__Even nods, "It's my pleasure."_ _

__"When exactly did you get up to make this?" Isak asks dumbfounded, playing with a strawberry between his fingers._ _

__"About half eight, I'm an early riser nowadays," Even admits, shrugging as he takes a sip of tea he made himself. "Do you like it?"_ _

__"Love it," Isak replies and Even beams, walking over to place a small kiss on Isak's cheek as he takes a bit of the strawberry that has now slightly stained his fingers. "Thank you."_ _

__"Anything for my love."_ _

__"Ugh, you two are too much for my eyes," Eskild groans, leaning back in his seat. "So in love and whatnot."_ _

__"Isn't this what you wanted for me?" Isak laughs. "You were my guru and kept badgering me if I was getting back together with him."_ _

__Eskild rolls his eyes, "Well, yeah, but... you two are so grossly in love. Get a room."_ _

__"I have one," Isak counters, smiling._ _

__"Don't be too loud, would you? At least give me and Linn the courtesy," Eskild says, a joking tone in his voice._ _

__"Sure, we can do that for you," Even responds, giving a wink at Isak who scoffs, setting his plate on the counter._ _

__"Any special plans for today?" Isak asks, raising his eyebrows while gesturing to Eskild and Linn._ _

__"Um, no. Not really-" Linn starts but Eskild cuts her off._ _

__"We actually have yoga to attend to!" Eskild pipes up, giving a nod. "Isn't that right, Linn?"_ _

__"Yoga...?" Linn asks, confused._ _

__"Yes! Yes, hurry up now. Get dressed. Yoga starts in half an hour," Eskild rushes, clapping his hands together to signal for Linn to get moving._ _

__"Yoga, huh?" Even asks, amused._ _

__"Yes, we're doing bathing yoga," Eskild responds, hurrying after Linn. "We gotta catch the tram otherwise we'll be late. Have fun, you two! Just clean the sheets yourselves after!"_ _

__Isak blushes, hiding his face in Even's shoulder as he laughs, watching Eskild and Linn make their way out of the apartment, "You know he means well for you, Isak."_ _

__"Yeah, I know... I just wish he was so much more discreet," Isak pouts, still hiding his face in Even's shoulder._ _

__"He's your friend and roommate Isak, let him have his fun. He cares about you," Even says, which coaxes Isak out of hiding._ _

__"Yeah, whatever," Isak sighs. "What should we do?"_ _

__"Well, we have the whole apartment to ourselves..?" Even hints, giving Isak a wink._ _

__"I really don't feel in the mood for sex right now, can't we just cuddle and watch a movie?" Isak begs and he eventually gets his way._ _

__They don't end up with the original plan - they end up with Even's plan and they find themselves a panting and sweaty mess by three PM._ _


	14. Chapter 14 - Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is - the final chapter!! This childhood friends AU was so much fun to write and I already have another AU planned for the near future!!

"Even?" Isak whispers as he and Even lay on his bed, Even's arm wrapped around him, holding him close and Even hums a response and Isak takes it as a lead to carry on. "What do you think about?"

"What do I think about? Damn, a lot of things," Even huffs, trailing his fingers in circles on Isak's back. "Sadly, too many things. I hate being alone with my thoughts."

"Why? It's not scary or anything?" Isak ponders, lifting up his chin to look at Even.

"It is. Not in, like, a horror movie type of scared. More like a forever alone feeling," Even frowns, licking his lips. "You can't escape your own thoughts."

"Are you always like this?" Isak laughs softly, nudging his head into the crook of Even's shoulder. "Have you not thought about things like... parallel universes?"

"What?" Even scoffs in disbelief.

"Have you not heard of those theories? Where, basically, we exist right now but in another universe and it's completely different in some way," Isak explains, and Even can hear the excitement rise in his voice as he speaks.

"That sounds messed up, how come you think about these things? Jesus, I forget how young you are sometimes and what silly things you think of."

"I think about it because it's interesting! Like, everything that's supposed happen will happen, just in a different and parallel universe that differs to our own."

"So, like... say I kissed you right now. Would that still happen in the parallel universe?" Even asks, becoming slightly curious.

Isak hums, giving the question some thought before answering, "Maybe, I don't know. Probably. There's probably an infinite collection of Isak's and Even's lying like this right now, except the curtains are," Isak laughs. "The curtains are yellow."

"Yellow curtains, huh? Interesting. It'd be an improvement to this room," Even jokes, chuckling as Isak nudges him in his ribs.

"My room is just fine the way it is and it's probably set up the same way in a parallel universe," Isak counters, pouting which Even leans down to kiss.

They remain lying on Isak's bed for a while, discussing Nicholas Cage movies and eventually their talking gets interrupted by Even's phone ringing and he groans as he looks at the caller; 'Mamma'. Even sighs and waits for it to finish ringing before putting it back in his hoodie pocket, "I left her a note, I don't know why she's fussing."

"Because she loves you just as much as I do," Isak offers, smiling as Even peppers his face with kisses.

"I sometimes think my mother loves you more than she does me, I swear 1,000 kroner on it," Even admits, pretending to act hurt as Isak sits up from his embrace, looming over him.

"I wouldn't be surprised," Isak giggles as Even pulls him by the hips so he's settled just above his hipbones. "She pays me to take care of you."

"What? You're joking," Even's mouth drops open as Isak laughs, his hands snaking their way to Even's sides.

"No, not in the slightest. She pays me about 500 kroner a week, it's nice."

Even rolls his eyes as he rolls over so now he's balanced over Isak and he revels in how flustered the boy looks beneath him, his eyes wide with excitement, "That's very unfair to me." Even frowns as he holds Isak's hands pinned on the sides of his head.

"Is it, hm?" Isak whispers, a smirk tugging on the corner of his lips as Even leans down into him, connecting their lips for a split second before pulling away, causing Isak to chase for more which is what makes Even weak in the knees. "Well I for one think it's unfair to me about how you're not kissing me."

Even chuckles, tilting his head to the side in the cutest way, "See how I feel?"

"Money and kisses are completely different things," Isak interjects, his breath hitching as Even brushes his crotch up against Isak's.

"That's true, but kisses can do so much more," Even leans down so his lips are ghosting on Isak's ear, his voice rough, "pleasurable things."

Isak shudders underneath him, letting out a soft mewl as Even places a kiss on his neck, pulling away again, "I guess you're right."

Even winks as he rolls off of Isak, causing him to make grabby hands at his shirt, "When am I ever wrong?"

"Right now! It was wrong of you to get off me!" Isak pouts, still squirming the slightest bit.

"Aw, I'm sorry baby," Even teases. "I'm sure that in a parallel universe, I'm sucking you off right now and you're a hot, moaning mess just like always. But we're on the floor, not the bed. And Eskild would have probably walked in on us."

Isak whimpers screwing his eyes shut, "Shut the hell up, I just got these jeans."

"Is my little baby gay gonna come already without even being touched? I'm flattered, Isak, really."

Isak groans, rolling his eyes as he feels Even lie down beside him and he rolls on his own side to face him, "It's only because you're fucking hot but you called me baby gay, I am 100% turned off."

"That's too bad, but that's okay. We can always have something planned for later," Even winks, taking Isak's hand in his own and lacing their fingers. They stare at each other for what seems like an infinity but soon Even's phone is going off again, the fourth call from his mother despite the reassuring texts he sends her. He knows it's nothing major, since she said she just made them both dinner, but Even just wants to be enveloped in Isak's presence just as much Isak wants to be wrapped in Even's. Even bites his lip, setting his phone on the floor next to Isak's bed and he turns his head to face him, looking deep into the emerald green eyes.

"What is it?" Isak asks carefully and quietly, squeezing Even's hand.

"Can I just... stay in here with you forever?" Isak doesn't respond, he just smiles and his eye lashes flutter against his cheeks, so Even asks again. "Can we do that?"

Finally, Isak gives a small nod, "We can do that."

Even grins widely, tilting down his head so he can connect his lips with Isak's and his free hand raises up to cup Isak's cheek, rubbing on the soft skin as the kiss drags on for minutes, both of them having to pull away to gasp for breath, "Is this what we're going to do every minute we're together?"

"Yes," Isak responds. "We're going to kiss. Look at the stars. The moon. The sun. Kiss some more. Every minute has it's own event. Day and night don't matter."

"Look at that, my Isak is a little poet," Even smiles warmly as Isak shakes his head.

"I'm not poet, I'm just your little Isak and you're the man of my dreams."

"I am the man of your dreams?"

"You are."

"Every minute?"

Isak nods again, "Every minute."


End file.
